It is no exaggeration to say that without “The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” writer Julie Marie Wade’s life might have turned out very differently.
Since the Florida professor discovered the classic sitcom in 1992 reruns, she has marked important points in her life by referencing similar moments from the show.
Wade, 45, graduated from watching the Minneapolis-set series on grainy videos she taped from TV as a kid to a DVD set. But, through it all, she was guided by a What Would Mary Tyler Moore do ethos, which she documents in “The Mary Years.” Wade will read from the collection of essays when she appears next month at Magers & Quinn bookstore in Minneapolis.
Growing up in a fundamentalist Christian family and not yet aware she was a lesbian, Wade felt like an outsider at home and at school. But she instantly felt kinship with Moore’s character, a news producer named Mary Richards, a single woman who built a family of friends.
“I was about to turn 13 or had just turned 13 and I was really hungry for female role models and ways to imagine myself into a future,” said Wade, an English professor at Florida International University. “When you are 13, 30 [Richards’ age when the series began in 1970] sounds so far away. So, I knew I had a long way to go before my Mary years would start.”
The show addressed lots of questions Wade was just starting to ask: “Who did I want to be at 30? Where did I want to be? Just the idea of having my own place was radical. I couldn’t imagine it. And a circle of friends!”
Wade didn’t lust after Moore (around the same time, she had a “fluttery feeling” that she came to realize was a big ol’ crush on Elizabeth Montgomery of “Bewitched”), but she saw Mary Richards’ life as something she could work toward. Richards demonstrated a life that included a career and friends, one that didn’t revolve around male companionship.
Wade wasn’t sure what the “fluttery feeling” was back then but she sensed it was something her family wouldn’t approve of and that she should keep to herself. So, it was a relief that she loved Mary Richards but didn’t get that feeling from her.