I was struck by an article in Bits and Pieces magazine about how the Wright brothers fiercely argued over every decision — so much so that acquaintances wondered how they could keep working together.
It is common knowledge that Orville and Wilbur Wright battled doubt, lack of money and gravity on their way to aviation history at Kitty Hawk, N.C. What is not widely known is that they succeeded precisely because they challenged each other.
Mark Eppler, in his book "The Wright Way," writes that the key to the brothers' intense arguments was that they were not anger-driven.
As Wilbur Wright put it, "Honest argument is merely a process of mutually picking the beams and motes out of each other's eyes so both can see clearly."
Irish poet and playwright Oscar Wilde supported the Wright brothers' logic when he said: "The well-bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves."
In other words, it's fine to change your mind after listening to all sides of an argument. There may be issues you didn't consider or information that you were unaware of. There may be a better way to deal with a problem that you hadn't considered.
I've always felt that debate or argument is healthy. Whenever I've had two employees disagreeing over something, I've always tried to listen with an open mind and learn different viewpoints. It can be very helpful in decisionmaking.
One important thing I've learned is not to play favorites. You must give both sides a fair hearing. You cannot go into a situation with a predetermined outcome or you will lose your credibility. You must treat everyone and their viewpoint respectfully.