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Every parent I know, whether they have one child or five, whether their kids dress in diapers or the latest TikTok fits, would describe themselves as busy. Which, yeah. Whenever another human is added to a family, the demand for time expands and its supply shrinks.
Which is why, when I ask these parents if they keep a journal about their experiences with their quickly growing children, the majority give me an are-you-serious look.
But with their next breath, many admit they wish they did, or they tried when their kid was little but couldn’t maintain the practice, or — when they stop to think about how easy it is to get caught in the swirl of raising children — they’re aware and a little sad about all the small moments that, though meaningful, blurred past without being given the kind of attention that might have turned them into long-term memories.
Here’s an example: Last year, my friend was describing the sweet but maddening time-suck of her toddler’s insistence that they hold hands through the crib’s slats at nap time. In an instant, I realized if she had never shared this story with me, I might have entirely forgotten living through this stage with my own kids. I’m not saying I miss those afternoons of my arm going numb under the body of a hot toddler while I had a thousand other things to do. But I am saying the experience of forgetting those afternoons — with their particular mix of frustration and little-sweaty-hand-sweetness — unsettled me. In parenting, in the midst of all the demanding stages of my children’s development, maintaining perspective is often what’s kept me sane.
After this conversation, I felt disappointment at not doing a better job of maintaining a journal about my children. I’m a nostalgic person. Memories that feature my loved ones matter to me. I was also familiar with the reams of research published about the benefits of journaling — how the practice is proven to reduce depression and anxiety, increase feelings of gratitude and well-being, boost immune function and, yes, strengthen memory function. Plus, I’m a writer! Journaling should have been a no-brainer. What had gotten in my way?
The same thing, it turns out, that gets in the way for many parents: that notion of time’s expanding demand and shrinking supply. I’d given up on the idea that I could fit it in.
