How journaling has helped slow the blur of parenting

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Every parent I know, whether they have one child or five, whether their kids dress in diapers or the latest TikTok fits, would describe themselves as busy. Which, yeah. Whenever another human is added to a family, the demand for time expands and its supply shrinks.

Which is why, when I ask these parents if they keep a journal about their experiences with their quickly growing children, the majority give me an are-you-serious look.

But with their next breath, many admit they wish they did, or they tried when their kid was little but couldn’t maintain the practice, or — when they stop to think about how easy it is to get caught in the swirl of raising children — they’re aware and a little sad about all the small moments that, though meaningful, blurred past without being given the kind of attention that might have turned them into long-term memories.

Here’s an example: Last year, my friend was describing the sweet but maddening time-suck of her toddler’s insistence that they hold hands through the crib’s slats at nap time. In an instant, I realized if she had never shared this story with me, I might have entirely forgotten living through this stage with my own kids. I’m not saying I miss those afternoons of my arm going numb under the body of a hot toddler while I had a thousand other things to do. But I am saying the experience of forgetting those afternoons — with their particular mix of frustration and little-sweaty-hand-sweetness — unsettled me. In parenting, in the midst of all the demanding stages of my children’s development, maintaining perspective is often what’s kept me sane.

After this conversation, I felt disappointment at not doing a better job of maintaining a journal about my children. I’m a nostalgic person. Memories that feature my loved ones matter to me. I was also familiar with the reams of research published about the benefits of journaling — how the practice is proven to reduce depression and anxiety, increase feelings of gratitude and well-being, boost immune function and, yes, strengthen memory function. Plus, I’m a writer! Journaling should have been a no-brainer. What had gotten in my way?

The same thing, it turns out, that gets in the way for many parents: that notion of time’s expanding demand and shrinking supply. I’d given up on the idea that I could fit it in.

Luckily, journaling had not given up on me. Shortly after this, I was introduced to a specific type of journaling that even the busiest parent does have time for: the one-sentence-a-day journal.

Different from a standard journal or a memory book based around prompts, a one-sentence-a-day journal helps individuals develop a practice of paying attention to their days, focusing on a single moment that felt meaningful, and then writing about it in a designated space. The trick is in limiting the writing to one or two sentences, because this is what makes it fast, and — for parents — this is what makes it sustainable.

Not long after that conversation with my friend, I began my own one-sentence-a-day journaling practice. And guess what? Even as I’ve kept up with life’s daily demands, by this Christmas, I will have written in my journal every day for over a year about something small but meaningful related to my children.

It’ll be a year I’ll never forget.

The truth is, determining what moment I’m going to summarize at the day’s end is never something I give much thought to while I’m moving between a meeting at work and the spaghetti sauce spilled on my kid’s favorite shirt. Yet, despite the hustle, turning journaling into a practice has been as doable for me as sending one more text. Best of all, it has helped slow the blur of parenting in our modern age.

I know in my bones that writing one sentence a day about my children is one of the most effective things I’m doing to remind myself that the little things in their lives — the moments that happen between us while getting ready for school, talking in the car, or tucking them into bed — are what I’m going to long for when they’re grown and gone, and I have more than enough time to remember.

Emily Brisse lives in Deephaven.