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How does someone grieve without God? As an atheist whose devoutly Christian mother died in August, I can answer this question with alacrity: We grieve just fine.
By “fine,” I mean we run the same gamut of emotions as anyone who believes in heaven and hell. Grief is a deeply human experience that binds people, whether or not they live with the reassurance of an afterlife or a loving God. Simple acts of empathy by those around us help move the process along.
Perhaps, then, the question should really be, how does one grieve without God’s people? In other words, how do we pick up our lives without the built-in communities that churches, temples and other houses of worship almost always provide?
This question deserves serious contemplation as younger Americans leave the faith congregations of their parents in droves. Based on my experience, it’s hard in ways I hadn’t imagined.
We can debate the implications of America’s increasing irreligiosity and whether religious institutions brought about their own decline by protecting their leaders at the expense of their followers. But we still must deal with death and grief wherever they find us, and until recently, they found most of us within those temples, churches and other houses of worship.
No longer. This year, a Pew Research Center survey found that 28% of Americans identified as nonreligious and, for the first time, made up the country’s largest “faith” group.