We field a lot of questions in this business, some of which are printable after heavy editing:
Q: How did you become such a jerk?
A: Practice, practice, practice.
Q: You predicted that the arrival of David Beckham in the United States would fail to elevate soccer's popularity. Ready to eat your words?
A: Yes, Beckham has been a powerful instrument of change. He doesn't do many interviews, doesn't promote his sport, can't stay healthy and has become irrelevant on two continents unless he's selling really tight underwear, but at least he helped the L.A. Galaxy last year by scoring that goal.
You don't have to ask, "Which goal?" There was only one.
Q: Why is there so much corruption in sports?
A: In the immortal words of Deep Throat, "Follow the money." There is corruption in politics because of money. There is corruption in the oil industry and in the military-industrial complex because of money. Enron was about money. Insider trading was about money. Beckham models really tight underwear for money. Why would athletes pursuing tens of millions of dollars in billion-dollar industries display better ethics than heads of state and commerce? Because their Little League coaches made them run laps?