128,125. That's a pretty accurate estimate of the number of students I've taught over a bunch of decades. Around this time each autumn, at the beginning of a new school year, I think about some of them — Where are they? What are they doing? Did I serve them well as their teacher? — but there's one I think about most often. Stewart.
My hunch is every teacher has their "Stewart," just as all of us have a dominant memory of one teacher tucked away in our hearts and minds forever.
Stewart must be 30 by now. He was just 14 back then …
He enters the classroom several minutes early as always — except for that one time. He stores his long, black umbrella underneath his front-row-center desk, unsnaps the metal clasps of his faux leather briefcase, and places a crisp, white legal pad and fountain pen in front of him. Soon, behind and next to him, other students take their seats, chattering away, ignoring Stewart's presence and precise preparations for the start of class. He seems light years removed from them and oblivious to the friendly ruckus.
Only in a rare moment does Stewart chat with another classmate. He admits his disdain for the "riff-raff," as he once described them to me in confidence during one of our weekly lunches.
Yet, sometimes, for just a moment, Stewart's eyes hint that he might be another insecure, even lonesome 14-year-old when I catch him glancing at other students, then retreating into his notebook when he thinks they see him looking their way.
Stewart defines himself as an adult or, more precisely, a "scholar-entrepreneur." But the kids see him as strange, contrived and oddly aloof. As one boy says, "He acts pretty dumb."
Stewart's persona is peculiar for sure, and I'm curious to know more about him. He eats alone in the cafeteria, and that's heart-wrenching to observe, so I invite him to join me for a weekly lunch in my office. His acceptance is formal but gracious, and I include the caveat that if he wants we can discuss a shared reading that he might find intellectually stimulating. Stewart agrees.