Q: I am in the market for a new job and am trying to network to find opportunities. But people are not very responsive and I'm wondering why it's not working for me. Should I take it personally?
A: Networking is important, and depends on trust and mutual benefit. So, while there's no point in taking the response personally, it would be valuable to reflect on your approach.
Think about some recent episodes. What strategies are you using? What steps are you taking? Many people will simply send an e-mail and leave it at that. Often this will be too passive, given the volume of e-mails these days.
The tone of your contact is extremely important. Reread your e-mails or think about your voice mails. If you sound demanding or if your tone is "off" in some way, this will be a serious deterrent. Don't rely on your own perception, because you're likely to see what you want to see. Instead, ask a friend to give you feedback. As always when seeking input, resist any impulse to argue or make excuses — use it as an opportunity to improve.
Now, here's the hard part. Networking is not a quick turnaround strategy. Relationships need to be built over time and on a foundation of mutual benefit. If you are using a short term networking strategy, that could account for the indifferent response you're receiving.
Given these factors, here are a few things to think about to improve your approach.
In particular, consider addressing the following questions from the point of view of the person you're reaching out to:
• Why should I trust you? Be able to explain, briefly, who you are, how you're connected and why it's safe for them to connect you with people they know. You're asking people to take a reputational risk, so it's fair to have to demonstrate your credibility.