The Bickersons are back! Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul reteam for a new version of "American Idol." Except the two judges swear it's really, really not. The teasers suggest this could finally be the juggernaut to topple the show-that-shall-not-be-named.

  • 7 p.m., KMSP, Ch. 9.


The pilot for this rather pedestrian sitcom about new parents (Christina Applegate and Will Arnett) was retooled to punch up Maya Rudolph's role as a self-centered talk show host. Good move. Her caffeinated energy just might save an otherwise tired show that limps along like Mom and Dad after a sleepless night. ★★ 1/2

  • 7 p.m., KARE, Ch. 11


There's nothing quite as ugly as watching celebrities grovel for sympathy, right before dashing off to some cool party. That doesn't stop Mario Lopez from hosting this pathetic mess in which former "Bachelors" and current "Jersey Shore" cast members confront fans who have the good sense to despise them. Most shows will end with a hug -- and a taste of vomit in your mouth. ★ 1/2

  • 7 p.m., WUCW, Ch. 23.


I'm not sure any single father would pack up and move out of the big city just because he found condoms in his daughter's bedroom. Thank goodness this one did, because it sets up a fish-out-of-water series that showcases the talent of young Jane Levy, who seems to have done her homework on teen angst. ★★★

  • 7:30 p.m. starting Sept. 28, KSTP, Ch. 5


Hank Azaria mopes, slumps and whines his way through life to such a degree that one colleague describes him as Willy Loman. No, we don't have another "Death of a Salesman" on our hands, but Azaria and Kathryn Hahn -- as co-workers having a secret affair -- have palpable chemistry, at least when Alex isn't sobbing into his pillow. ★★ 1/2

  • 7:30 p.m., KARE, Ch. 11


I started counting the obscenities thrown by stars Jaime Pressly and Katie Finneran until it dawned on me: The entire show is an obscenity. These otherwise capable actresses play put-upon moms of girls so despicable they lock a disabled boy in the bathroom. Whoever green-lit this mess should join him. ★

  • 8:30 p.m. starting Nov. 30, KMSP, Ch. 9


Emily VanCamp sheds her good-girl image in this reimagining of "The Count of Monte Cristo." Her character is aptly named Emily Thorne because she's determined to stick it to everyone in the Hamptons for reasons that are unclear. Maybe it's because not enough of them watched "Everwood"? It's too early to tell if this mystery is worth following, but it's fun to see VanCamp go dark. ★★

  • 9 p.m. KSTP, Ch. 5.


  • The show: "Up All Night" (NBC)
  • The role: Ava, an Oprah Winfrey wannabe, blissfully unaware that her producer just gave birth, even as she holds the infant in her arms.
  • Where you've seen her: "Saturday Night Live," "Bridesmaids."
  • Why we love her: She's so adept at skewering celebrities that even targets Donatella Versace and Oprah embrace her.
  • On being the mother of three: "I think you expect that you're going to be a certain kind of parent. I heard myself confidently say, 'Well, when I'm a parent, I'm going to do A, B and C.' And then you just really give in to the madness."
  • What you didn't know: Listen carefully to the 1975 pop hit "Lovin' You" by her mother, Minnie Riperton, and you'll hear her warble "Maya, Maya, Maya" at the end of the song.