Recent content from James Lileks

Lileks: It's time to bring back 'elevator music'
Perhaps we'd be a less jangly society if vapid mood music was the norm.

The fair is over but the stuff we bought lives on
We are at the point in September where we regret, or celebrate, our State Fair impulse purchases. One year I was watching this guy make…

Who were the Miss Downtown Minneapolis winners and what did they do?
For years, young women were selected to serve as civic champions, winning mink coats and accolades in the process.

Lileks: The boomer skills have outlived their usefulness
Sometimes you see a link to an article headlined "50 things Boomers Did That Are Useless Now," and you cannot resist. You know you will…

Lileks: Has your phone's speech-to-text sap cotton wurst?
I know the technology is amazing, and we take it for granted — but I'm convinced it's broken, and I'm not alone.

Instead of new foods, the State Fair needs more welcoming entrances
How about a giant gopher? We know just where it should go.

Lileks: Don't love the Minnesota State Fair? You're not alone.
Here are six reasons you may not want to go.

Lileks: A star is born ... well, not even close, actually
We're all acting, a little. Our early years are full of auditions.

A Minneapolis block may hold a world record for churches
The four houses of worship in Northeast have long histories.

These new Minnesota State Fair attractions join our old fair traditions
Additions abound, but most of us go to the fair to do (and eat) our favorite old things again and again.

Lileks: There's no clean break when you're cleaning out a grown kid's room
You're either a saver or a tosser.

Lileks: Some gigantic notions about a Minnesota 'Titanic' sequel
The Titanic wasn't the only sinking ship in the sea.

Lileks: Why don't we ask for refunds at the movie theater more often?
My seat was behind a railing that cut through the view of the screen.

Lileks: Three cheers for our ugly mutts
The honor of our dogs has been sullied, and this cannot be allowed to stand. Or sit, and stay. A survey by Mixbook Photo…

Lileks: 'Barbie' movie brings back sweet memories for this dad
I don't speak Barbie, but I associate the character with some of the happiest, simplest days a dad can have.

Lileks: Mustard in Skittles is the devil's work
Skittles candy is releasing a new flavor: mustard. Why? What sins have we committed to deserve these sadistic confectionary combos? This is the point where…

Lileks: Think extra crunchy cookies are good? Then rock on
This might mean new warnings on packages: This product was processed in a facility that contained nuts, granite, milk and marble.

Lileks: Taco Tuesday is now for everyone
Taco John's has been fighting to hold the copyright to the term "Taco Tuesday," but now they're letting it slip from their tired grasp.…

Lileks: We'll return to our regular yard work right after this message
A video cannot possibly presume all the ways in which you might make a bonehead mistake.
The best bridges in Minneapolis and St. Paul, and the story behind each
More than a city of Lakes, Minneapolis is a city of bridges. We have so many that we have spares, like the Third Avenue and…

In 1906, it was full steam ahead for Lake Minnetonka's Big Island Park
The amusement park promised carousels, roller coasters and modern luxuries.

Lileks: Summertime, and the complainin' is easy
In old newspapers, "drought" is often spelled "drowt." It suggests that readers were confused by the proper spelling and thought it should be pronounced "dro-you-ghet?"…

Lileks: Credit cards are getting coy and cagey
I was unaware my card was capable of astral projection.

Lileks: An ordinary day and extraordinary memory
It was Father's Day, too many years ago. The best gift possible: Time together and a memory made.

Lileks: Feeling the rhythm of the trash bins
Every sensible person has wondered: What if I am right, and the whole world is mad? What if I see things as they truly are,…

Lileks: With Vision Pro, Apple wants us to focus on the big picture
It's like a big TV, except it's strapped to your head and follows you to the bathroom on commercial breaks.

Lileks: New stop-sign law deals blow to non-bikers' superiority complex
Without opportunities for silent disapproval, we're at risk of losing our ability to be passive-aggressive when it really counts.

Lileks: We're going to miss you, May
There's so much May, and there's never enough.It's one of those jumbo months, 31 days — who could ask for more? All of us. It…

Lileks: AM car radios are fading out
News item: Some carmakers are dropping AM radios from their new models because electric cars interfere with the signal. Your reaction: Gosh, what's next to…

Lileks: His attempts to grow grass are like a salute to male pattern baldness
Our columnist declares war on the weeds in his lawn.

What we learned from our own high school graduation speeches
Our columnists recalled the advice they dispensed to their peers decades ago. Do they stand by their words?

Lileks: It's the opening of skeeter season — does anything keep them away?
Let's consider our options.

A turning point in learning to speak the Minnesota code
Spring is here, it's ours, and we're going to savor all 17 days of it.
Great cities have great fountains: Here are the 6 best in the Twin Cities
Admire turtles, gargoyles, cherubs and more.

Lileks: Seeking lessons from a BBQ Dad
A Craigslist ad went viral the other day, and for good reason: A group of young men wanted to hire a "BBQ Dad" to…

Lileks: If stores incorrectly post a low price for an item, is it OK to make them honor it?
Adventures in the check-out lane come with a moral dilemma.

Lileks: The Post Office regrets to inform you ...
Anyone keeping track of the precipitous decline of civilizational standards can add this to the list: The other day I received a piece of mail…

Lileks: Is the airport taxing Minnesota nice?
Add the hospitality tax to high prices and it's downright inhospitable.

Lileks: Happy birthday to a chattering millstone
That techno-marvel in your hand? It's 50 years old.

Lileks: Kiosks are killing the fast-food clerks
What's better: a day filled with irritating human encounters, or one where every transaction has the rote, sterile perfection you get when dealing with a well-programmed machine?

Macy's furniture store in Edina is facing the wrecking ball. It's not a big loss.
The 1970s "earth-sheltered" building has fans.

Lileks: What's Minnesota's most popular nightmare?
The most recent survey of the world's nightmares boils them down to two categories: snakes and teeth falling out.

Lileks: Coming clean about dishwasher soap
I needed dishwashing detergent. But what kind? Centrum PowerWash Pods with SupR-Kleen Sheeting Action, maybe. Or EcoNice Rice-skin Globules (Removes stubborn residue with the power…

March 1923: The Minnesota orchestra concert heard across the country
A first-of-its kind radio broadcast brought the magic of music to an entire continent.

Lileks: The tragedy of booking your own travel
You always start by checking to see if there are any nonstop flights — which technically doesn't make any sense because they all stop eventually.

Lileks: 'Now boarding: the passenger carrying the raft knife'
Take your emergency exit row seat responsibilities seriously.

Lileks: What to do when your air fryer turns deadly
Instructions give new meaning for "cut the cord."

Lileks: Ticked off at TikTok's de-aging app
My attitude about TikTok can be summed up thus: "I really enjoyed that TikTok from that guy explaining how much he loathed TikTok." I can't…

Lileks: Shopping before a snowstorm? Just check your pandemic pantry
You may still have powdered milk, hand sanitizer and yeast.

Lileks: The first rule of the Keto diet: Don't talk about the Keto diet
A diet that says "no sugar" is like an elocution coach who says "use no words that contain the letter E."

Lileks: Minneapolis adopt-a-drain program leaves nothing to chance
Our drain is named Clogg, a name I took from the shoe-storage page of an Ikea catalog.

Lileks: Survey on sleep habits is a real yawn
Few people think they get enough, because however much you get, you know you could get more.

Lileks: What are these strange brands found only on Amazon?
Searches yield a baffling array of identical items with different prices and bizarre company names.

Lileks: Ugliest building in town? Or just misunderstood?
U.S. Bank Stadium is unique, and challenging.
Lileks: Something doesn't add up in marketing for Coke Zero Sugar
I assume that if it's improved, it's new. And I assume that if it's new, it's improved. But says who?
Is the reign of the skyscraper over in the Twin Cities?
With demand for office space weak, it's unlikely Minneapolis or St. Paul will see massive additions to their skylines.

Lileks: Is Amazon paranoia real?
Amazon was curious, and with good reason: My wife had never before flown to Jakarta, Indonesia, and attempted to buy an audio book, so was…

Lileks: Get a whiff of this guy
Somewhere in some office sat an executive in charge of brand management, wondering how to get his client into the news of the day. He…