Ask Amy: Donation requests become overwhelming

Dear Amy: I'm a business owner with a small retail store located in an affluent community. I rent the space, and the staff includes family members who work for free so that we can keep the doors open.

The shop is a labor of love, and it is a gathering place for community members. That said, business is very slow, and we are struggling.

The pandemic saw our complete shutdown (according to state mandates). The tourists who used to be our main customers have not returned since COVID. That's a reality of life; I get that. And it's not what I'm writing about.

The store is constantly being approached for donations and sponsorships. These include schools asking for donations for raffles; museums asking for three-figure donations to their fundraisers; nonprofits raising money for their causes, youth athletic teams looking for sponsors and more.

We supported them when we could, but I'm overwhelmed now. Our business account is empty and it's all I can do not to cry when asked for donations. They ask in phone calls and then follow up in person and via emails, copying others on these emails, which makes it look like we're an uncharitable business.

Some of the askers even make a comment that we're in "this town" so therefore must have the money and means to donate.

How do I respond to these people? I was always taught to "never complain, never explain," and I don't know how to tell them that I'd love to donate but we simply cannot.

Amy says: My advice is to craft a simple, honest and polite written response: "As our business continues to recover after our lengthy closure during the pandemic, we find ourselves unable to donate to your very worthy cause. We hope to see you in the shop very soon."

I hope that your fears concerning your reputation are an exaggerated response to your affluent surroundings. I suspect that other local family-run businesses are stretched, too. (Connecting with others in a local small-business networking association might help you to see that you aren't alone.)

The people making these requests likely do not realize that theirs is the fifth "ask" you've received this week. A quick, respectful and definitive "Sorry — we're stretched tight, so not this year" should send them on their way.

Dear Amy: I live with my daughter and son-in-law in my own private quarters, which I paid for them to build. I try to give them their space and live independently in my unit, which is attached by a hallway to their two-story house.

My area comprises approximately one-third of the entire dwelling. Based on that, I pay one-third of the utilities. My daughter thinks I should pay for half the utilities.

Is it equitable to split the costs 50/50, or should we pay according to our earning power and the area we occupy?

Amy says: Because you occupy one-third of the space and are one-third of the occupants, the obvious solution (to me) is for you to pay one-third of the utilities.

You might look into installing a door between your unit and their house for energy conservation purposes, and perhaps installing a separate meter for your unit.