Commenter Clarence Swamptown will delight you with tales of outstate bars and context-free diagrams. As usual, the opinions here on music, NASCAR or how to treat unruly baserunners do not necessarily reflect those of RandBall or the Star Tribune. Here we go. Clarence?

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*Outstate Bar of the Week: King's Place, Miesville, Minnesota. The following is a list of Frequently Asked Randballer Questions (FARQs) I am constantly asked about the Outstate Bar of the Week: What is the bar famous for?: King's is located on Highway 61, just south of Hastings and just north of Red Wing. They have 53 different burgers to choose from, and all of them are glorious. They are juicy, well seasoned, perfectly cooked to order, and come with a side of fries the size of your head. Just trust me, you want to upgrade to the half-pound burger with waffle fries and seasoned sour cream. You want a cloth napkins? Pardon me, Queen of {redacted} England. There is a roll of paper towels on each table, and you're going to need them. If you are some sort of goof, you can get a burger topped with peanut butter, or a fried egg, or a hot dog. If you're a normal person, you just go with bacon and cheddar. Can I watch the game there?: If it's a weekday afternoon game, you'll have to wrestle the remote from the townie blue-hairs watching their stories. Other than that, you should be okay. There is a TV above the bar, above the pull-tab boxes, where you normally can request whatever you want (except porn, you pervert. This is a German-Catholic town.). Can I watch the NASCAR race there? Of course. Do they have a website? Holy {redacted}, they do. Are they on Twitter? No, smart alec. Anything else I should know? On behalf of the Greater Cannon Falls Area Chamber of Commerce, King's is the perfect bookend to a road trip. We have numerous golf courses, tubing, canoeing, bike trails, a nearby casino, town ball, a winery, antique shops, and more bars. It's only 45-minutes away. No, seriously, please come down. We could use the money. *Country & Western Song of the Week: If You Could Read My Mind by Gordon Lightfoot. *Context Free Diagram of the Week: