Ask Amy: Wife miffed at husband-turned-minister
- Article by: AMY DICKINSON
- July 27, 2013 - 2:00 PM
Dear Amy: My very nonreligious (raised Jewish) husband and his son recently decided they want my husband to perform the ceremony at his son’s wedding. So my husband went online, filled out a form and paid a fee, and now he is apparently an ordained minister and can marry people.
He heard that sometimes clergy members are upgraded to first class on airplanes. He went online and bought several shirts with clerical collars and is planning to wear them on the plane when he flies in the hope that he will get an upgrade.
Correct me if I’m mistaken, but I thought that it is Christian clergy who wear clerical collars.
For the last 20 years I can’t tell you how many times my husband has made disparaging remarks about Christians. I find this whole thing with the collars and upgrade to be highly unethical, and I think he is trying to present himself as something he’s not. What do you think?
Amy says: Your husband should imagine an anti-Semite donning traditional Orthodox garb and basically making a mockery of both faiths; that’s how offensive his behavior is. His online clergy status might be basically legitimate, but the task of marrying someone is no joke, and it shouldn’t be treated like one.
I contacted a major airline about this legendary “upgrade” issue and was told they are not aware of this as an official policy, although you can assume some upgrade opportunities are made unofficially and spontaneously at the gate.
You should be honest with your husband about how wrong and unethical this is. And then you should not give him any further attention for this stunt.
The next time you fly, if your husband pulls out his clerical collar, tell him, “Way to stay classy, honey.” And then go about your business, go to your assigned seat and hope that no one on the flight assumes you are together. Your husband should also hope that no one on the flight needs actual religious assistance. Imagine the “hilarity” that would ensue.
Solution to road rage
Dear Amy: I have a remedy for road rage. My friend responds to thoughtless acts on the road by giving herself a point every time she is able to brush off these annoyances.
She places a sticky note on her dash, and when she reaches 10 points, she rewards herself with something nice, such as a new pair of earrings. She calls them “road wages,” a better alternative to road rages!
Amy says: I love this. Thank you.
Send questions via e-mail to Amy Dickinson at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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