As you prepare your New Year's resolutions, keep in mind that social-science research suggests that the shelf life of 99% of resolutions is just seven days.
Looking ahead to Day 7, who among us will be leading our lives in the One Percent?
That elite group will include — I hope — my friend Chuck.
Chuck is taking personal inventory of the way he writes; working toward New Year's Eve, he pledges to reform by making what he writes say what he means. Here, for the last time, he expresses himself in his usual way.
Scour Chuck's remarks; you'll find more than 20 italicized grammatical errors and clichés — and their corrections. Purge those sins from your own writing, and you'll be a better writer.
"Let me be perfectly clear. I am washing my sins away in the tide. [clichés] Just between you and I, [between you and me] the circumstances are very unique. [uniqueness has no degrees] Per previous memo, [off-putting formality] at this point in time I am circling back [clichés] to where I should have went [gone] from the get-go.
"Look, the reason why [reason means why] I am asking you guys's support [an abomination if ever there was one] bottom line, if you will, [more clichés] is that I am, like, [ugh!] entering unchartered [uncharted] waters.
"At the end of the day, I've got to think outside the box. [yet more clichés]. I mean, irregardless [no such word; it's regardless] of whom [who] is incentivizing me, [bureaucratic jargon] I basically [superfluous word] will make less [fewer] mistakes.
"I feel badly [bad]. When I get good at this, we can try and have [try to have] a party, with healthy [healthful] food. And I promise to never write again, 'Refreshments were served and a good time was had by all.' [deadening passive voice]
"I will write the most perfect sentences. [perfection has no degrees] Every person should do their best. [singular subject, plural possessive pronoun]
Full disclosure: All of those goofs came from pet peeves my readers have sent me. Keep 'em coming.
Gary Gilson conducts writing workshops online. He can be reached through writebetterwithgary.com.
