My name is Matthew Sanford and this is the first blog I have ever written. In general, I will be writing about minds, bodies, trauma, loss, hope, transformation, and consciousness. These subjects have been defining features of my life, much of which is chronicled in my book, Waking: A Memoir of Trauma and Transcendence. I come to this blog fascinated by the shift in consciousness that occurs when we integrate our minds and our bodies. I believe mind-body integration is more than a personal health strategy. I believe it also provides a powerful lens for social, political, and cultural issues, both as individuals and as a society at large.
In this spirit, I offer some initial thoughts on the trauma that our psyche have absorbed during our recent economic downturn. Our reactions as angry victims of corporate financial greed, as hesitant consumers, as constituents expecting miracles from a new President, all have the earmarks of trauma. Understandably, we want to blame someone; we are fearful about the future and our place in it; and we are hoping that someone else waves a magic wand and restores things to the way they were. The problem is that after trauma there is no going back.
Trauma is a subtle phenomenon and does not require physical or direct violence. In an interview in the Utne Magazine (August, 2006), I define trauma as a core loss of trust in the world, in the order of things. Given this broad definition, each and every one of us works through trauma in one form or another. The loss of innocence is a trauma or when someone you love lets you down. And clearly, our loss of faith in our financial institutions (and the people that run them) also qualifies as trauma.
The first step in transforming trauma is to recognize that we are in fact traumatized. Recognizing the effects of trauma is not a sign of weakness. Quite to the contrary, as long as one stays clear of excessive self-pity, it is a hallmark of strength. One symptom of trauma is for the mind to become fixated on negativity. Obviously, the media has us awash in gloomy and discouraging news. And, of course, our traumatized minds are ready to eat it up. But there are also subtle patterns forming in each of us that we need to recognize. Here are two examples from my life this last week.
First, a colleague of mine came to the Twin Cities and had difficulty renting a car. When he inquired at our airport, Hertz had no cars to rent and Alamo had only six cars on their entire lot. He jokingly asked if Obama was in town. The reply he heard was unsettling. The Alamo employee said that car rental agencies are not renewing their leases. They are returning their leased cars to the Big Three without leasing new ones because they do not trust that the Big Three will be in existence to take the cars back in two years. Now, I do not know if this is true or if this really is the cause of my colleague's troubles, but my psyche was ready and willing to hear it. That night I woke from a sound sleep and found myself feeling dread.
In another snippet, my wife Jennifer was – dare I say it – shopping. She came across a Lucky brand shirt that normally would cost about 90 dollars. It was marked down to what she thought was 21 dollars, but when she got up to the cash register she was told that it cost 42 dollars. She told me that previously she would have gobbled that shirt up at 42 dollars and felt great about it. But in this current climate, she hesitated and chose not to buy, citing that she could do without such a luxurious item. Listening to her, I called to mind a story I heard about the horrors of deflation, that is, a drop in prices driven by consumers' unwillingness to buy because of the expectation that the price may drop still more. Apparently deflation is much more dangerous than inflation, or so I heard. That night I woke again, this time wondering if Jennifer's choice not to buy the shirt is the innocent unfolding of this "awful" deflation. Worse yet, I was still relieved that Jennifer chose not to buy. I felt this despite knowing that she was exhibiting deflation-causing behavior. I shuddered with the worry that there are now forces at work in our psyche that are beyond our control.
So the spiral begins. Consumer self-confidence is apparently dangerously low. Bankers are scared to lend money and everything is seizing up. Really? Is there no other way? I choose differently. I choose to land my feet back on the ground, brush off the dirt, and start moving again. I will always make this choice. Did I tell Jennifer to go back and buy that shirt? Absolutely not! Nobody needs a 42 dollar t-shirt? That's not me lacking consumer confidence. That is me being me….which is still the best way to move through trauma.