LOS ANGELES -- Twice a year, top stars are forced to mingle with the nation's TV critics to promote their shows, a drill delivered with stale sound bites and fake guffaws. But stick around long enough and even the most prepared celebrity will slip in a one-liner -- accidentally or purposely -- that reminds you that Hollywood is populated with more than talking mannequins. Here are a few favorite quips from our recent two-week trip to la-la land:

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"I used to have this rather romantic idea of playing in a jazz trio in Lisbon. I don't know why I settled on Lisbon. I've never been to Lisbon. I know nothing about it. I think they have red tile roofs. And it's always been at the back of my mind that that's where I would wind up, playing 'Autumn Leaves' in some hotel lobby somewhere," Hugh Laurie on his possible future after "House."

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"We don't have a ton of stunts in the sense of, you know, 'Buffy.' So far, the trickiest stunt I've had is standing next to the very tall Kristoffer Polaha and Mike Colter and trying to look like I'm not 7," Sarah Michelle Gellar on her new role in CW's "Ringer."

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"I think you've proven that there's nothing wrong with being selfish. You are somebody who I've admired, who has ruthlessly succeeded in their career even when you left the Pussycat Girls behind, and there's nothing wrong with that, because it is about goals and ambition," Simon Cowell giving a backhanded compliment to his "X Factor" colleague Nicole Scherzinger.

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"I try and give audiences what they want, and a lot of that is Beatles stuff. It's not bad music," Paul McCartney on why he's playing more and more oldies in concert.

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"It's so easy to be pigeonholed in this business and that's exactly where I was at and I was very scared. You know, Wilmer Valderrama and I have talked about this, because of his 'Fez' character on 'That '70s Show.' I mean, how often have you seen him since? It's hard because people see you one way. And now he's the voice of Handy Manny," Emmy winner Jaime Pressly on getting stereotyped after doing "My Name Is Earl."

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"I hope so. It's either going to be me or Rachel Weisz playing Chloe," Mary Lynn Rajskub on whether she'll be in the much buzzed about "24" movie.

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"The first time we did Oprah on 'SNL,' it was a parody of Oprah's Favorite Things. And she had me on [her show] and she actually said she loved it. ,She was really happy because I was the first woman to actually play her in many years of 'SNL.' And she enjoyed that I was a bit thin at the time," Maya Rudolph on her Oprah Winfrey impression.

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"I'd have to change my name to Nick Cannon and live with Mariah [Carey]," Arsenio Hall on the possibility of returning to television.

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"Our love in real life is fine. So I'm totally happy for our characters to be as sad and distraught and messed up and hating each other as they like. I mean, let's face it: It's not interesting television if everything works out for Bill and Sookie and then they adopt five babies and live happily ever after," Anna Paquin on her real-life marriage to "True Blood" co-star Stephen Moyer.