"There are lots of reasons, both technological and ecological, to not send paper thank-you notes anymore," says Michelle Slatalla, manners columnist for Real Simple. "It wastes paper. It forces us to cut down trees."The trick is convincing Grandma that "lots of reasons" are good reasons.

"The whole purpose of thank-you notes is etiquette and courtesy and making people feel good," Slatalla says. "So you do have to take the long view and make sure people feel comfortable changing and evolving with the world instead of forcing this on them too abruptly if they're not ready."

So if you know that certain relatives will feel slighted by an e-note (or they don't have e-mail access), force the handwritten version. For all others, Slatalla says, consider the benefits of electronic thanking.

"Your kid can take his time and write something that's personal and thoughtful about that person and the gift and not worry about crossing out," she says. "All the effort can go into the thoughtful text -- and it's the sentiment that counts, not the medium."

You also can prep your friends and relatives who might be jarred by the evolution.

"It's a chance to educate your mother or your sister and point out that the world is changing and there are benefits to changing with it," Slatalla says.

"You can say, 'I'm teaching him it's really important to be environmentally conscious and not waste paper. And now that there is a much simpler way to convey acknowledgment of gifts and sentiments of gratitude via e-mail, I'm really encouraging him to do that.'"