Dear Amy: My wife of 27 years recently told me that she no longer has any interest in intimacy or sex. She told me that I could not initiate sex with her, and that the only way it would happen would be if she decided to initiate. She has not done this in over a decade, so I have no hope.

She said that any form of cheating would be grounds for a divorce. I think she is trying to force me to divorce her, making me the bad guy with our children (three adults and one teenager).

Amy says: Your sex life might be the primary issue, but I assume that your wife's lack of compassion and her non-negotiable stance is representative of other problems in the marriage.

Check the legal pathways to divorce in your state. "No-fault" divorce means that couples don't need to present specific reasons to split. If your relationship has broken down to the point of no return, "irreconcilable differences" is an accurate description.

If you think that you two are trying to out-maneuver one another regarding breaking up, counseling might offer you a way to negotiate a more peaceful and honest split. If she won't see a therapist with you, you should go on your own.

If you two separate, my sense of this is that you might be made out to be the "bad guy," regardless of the actual circumstances.

Picture perfect

Dear Amy: I inherited a box of photos that are well over 100 years old. At the bottom of the box, I found a dozen small, beautifully framed "adult" photos. While these were hardcore for their time, they are quite tame by modern standards. The most seductive photo is of a bride getting a romantic kiss on her wedding night.

I was taken with these lovely images, and so I grouped them together to display in my bedroom, which is a very private room in my home. (I am a retired woman living alone.) As soon as she saw them, my older sister began insisting that I take them down, because "people will think you're some kind of pervert."

Now my sister and several of her friends are outraged at my "pornographic display." Can you help me come up with a comment to stop further discussion?

Amy says: This sounds like a cool and unique collection to display in your bedroom. Responding to comments or critiques from the various biddies in your life, you might arch an eyebrow and say, "I have a special attraction to boudoir beauties from the Victorian era. Last night I had a dream about Virginia Woolf. We were ballroom dancing on board the Titanic."

In short — own this; don't explain and don't apologize.

Would your sister be scandalized if you had a reproduction of the Venus di Milo or of Michelangelo's "David" in your bedroom? Perhaps. But this is very much her problem. Don't make it yours.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.