Ask Amy: Partner holds all the financial strings

Dear Amy: I am involved with a recently divorced man. "Steve" and I operate a small but very successful business together.

Here's the problem: Steve's 19-year-old daughter works for us. She gets paid for 40 hours a week, even though she works only about 25 hours, at most.

Steve pays her phone bill, gave her a very expensive laptop and bought her a new car. She lives in her boyfriend's house. Her boyfriend's parents own the house, and her rent is way below market price.

If I bring up to Steve that I think we help her too much, I'm the bad guy. Am I wrong in not wanting to help her so much?

I also need to add that I do not get a paycheck, nor do I have any money unless I ask Steve for it. I love him and want to stay, but am I just wasting my time?

Amy says: You criticize Steve's daughter for being entirely dependent on her father, and yet you are, too. You might ask her for tips on how to pry a paycheck out of her father.

Steve's daughter clearly comes first in his mind. If she is entitled and spoiled, then he helped to create this monster, and a monster she will remain — at least for the next few years.

You should take a long and careful look at your situation and ask yourself if you are with someone who is controlling the women in his life through money.

Dear Amy: Recently, my family and I attended a church that was not our home parish, and we did not know the members.

The family in front of me was sitting on their pew as I knelt from behind. The position I was in gave me a close-up view of the blond long-haired teenage girl sitting directly below my gaze. She clearly had two lice nits affixed to her hair (shining from the bright overhead lights).

In my experience as a teacher for 37 years, I have encountered this situation numerous times. I would never intentionally embarrass someone by calling attention to something unpleasantly personal, so I chose to say nothing.

Now I wonder if I should have alerted someone. There were five other long-haired girls in the family, and my concern now is that they might become infected, also. What would you have done?