Dear Amy: Forty years ago, my wife was pregnant for one trimester. I've never forgiven myself for how I acted during those few months.

The pregnancy was planned, but instead of being pleased, doubts and fears assailed me. I was bad-tempered and unsympathetic. I felt trapped and resentful.

Then it all ended with a miscarriage and a consuming feeling of guilt over the way I'd acted. Wanting to atone, I was supportive through five years of humiliating infertility treatments before I finally said I couldn't take it anymore. She agreed. We gave up trying.

Was my behavior as unforgivable as I think it was, or do other people have similar feelings in such situations? If I found they did, maybe I could forgive myself.

Amy says: Do I know of men who have been unsupportive and bad-tempered during their partner's pregnancy and the early days of parenthood? Of course. And pregnant women can exhibit similar behaviors. (I can't possibly be the only one.)

Pregnancy can be an extremely stressful experience, and people who don't take the time and effort to decode their internal feelings and seek ways to behave well tend to behave poorly, lashing out instead of coping with their own vulnerability.

The difference between your story and that of other prospective parents is that a lot of these negative feelings dissipate as the pregnancy advances. The loss you and your wife experienced robbed you of many things, including any opportunity of redemption through enthusiastic and loving parenting.

Your ongoing guilt might be a sign that you still need to accept your actions and take responsibility for the impact of your long-ago behavior. We all make mistakes. We all behave badly. But the way to move forward is to admit your faults and frailties, and to seek to be forgiven.

Have you sincerely taken responsibility for your behavior and asked your wife to forgive you? If not, what are you waiting for?

Time to get out

Dear Amy: I've been with my girlfriend for five years (we're both in our mid-20s). We moved in together about a year ago and both have good jobs.

Her job is either more stressful than mine or she feels the stress more, but frequently when she comes home after work, she is in a foul mood. She always says she's "hangry," and that she feels better after she eats something.

In my opinion, this makes her pretty hard to live with. The other night it was my turn to make dinner, and she didn't believe I was paying enough attention to what I was doing. She followed me around the kitchen, criticizing what I was doing. She went to the refrigerator and got a tub of yogurt to eat.

I was doing a crossword on my phone while the rice was cooking, but nothing was progressing fast enough for her and — long story short — she ended up throwing the yogurt at me (spoon and all). My back was turned, and the yogurt hit me, splattered all over me and fell to the floor.

I wasn't hurt, but I'm thinking this is the last straw. She sincerely apologized. She blamed this outburst on her hunger, but I'm thinking of moving out. I'm not sure what to do.

Amy says: Your girlfriend easily could control her "hangry" outbursts by grabbing a snack at work or on her way home.

Her violence is unacceptable. Men sometimes discount partner violence if no one is injured. I hope you won't make this mistake.

It's time for you to get out. Move in with a friend, make a clean break and don't look back.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.