Dear Amy: I met my husband when I was a part-time sex worker and he was a client. We've been happily married for 30 years (I found a new career when we started dating).

We made up a story about meeting at a concert, but my mother-in-law doesn't believe it. Twice she has asked me to tell her the "real way" we met, but I've stuck to our story.

She's a great mom and mother-in-law, and I know her feelings are hurt that I won't tell her. What can I say to make her feel OK with never knowing the truth?

Amy says: I'd say that your mother-in-law making two inquiries in 30 years doesn't convey a burning need to know or to catch you in a lie, unless the two times she has asked about this both happened last week.

If she seems exceptionally upset and you think it might help to try to talk this through, you could start with some questions (always patiently wait for the answer): "You seem very curious about this. We've told you that we met at a concert. What is it that you're hoping to learn, aside from what we've told you?"

She might have heard a rumor and wants to confirm it. But this is your life and your story, and you can stick to it.

Can we talk

Dear Amy: I am a single woman in my mid-30s. I recently reconnected with an old friend. Early in the friendship he disclosed that he has a highly contagious STD. Because of this, we never crossed the line of "friendship."

Recently, we've had more time to reconnect and enjoy each other's company. We've already established that we like each other beyond friendship, but we have not discussed whether a physical relationship is possible.

I have questions, but I'm not sure how to ask them. And I am not sure he would know how to answer them.

Considering the sensitivity of his diagnosis, how would I start the conversation about intimacy?

Amy says: Your friend felt comfortable enough to share this information with you earlier in your relationship. But the whole issue has taken on more urgency now that you're looking for safe ways to exit the friend zone.

Talking honestly is the most intimate act adults can engage in. Because of this, the prospect of having a deep, searching and honest conversation can be frightening.

The way to have a tough conversation is to commit to it, and then to do your best to communicate clearly. I think it helps to set aside time and to start by stating: "This is hard for me to talk about, so please bear with me."

Aside from discussing the various possibilities for a relationship, if you two decide to move forward, you and he should receive accurate medical information from a physician.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.