Dear Amy: I moved to a semi-rural area. One way I am trying to meet people is by hosting small dinner gatherings where I invite a group of people whom I think might make for interesting conversation. These people may or may not already know each other.

This almost never works out. I've had people ask if I will invite so-and-so. I've had people call me during dinner to say they would not be coming. Once, I had an expectation of 11 people coming and ended up serving five.

Truth be told, I am lonely. I want to get to know people better, and this consistent weirdness (to me) has been frustrating and saddening. Is this just how it goes in the country?

Amy says: I shared your question with Richard L. Kyte, director of the Ethics Institute at Viterbo University, whose new book, "Finding Your Third Place: Building Happier Communities (and Making Great Friends Along the Way)" comes out this spring (Fulcrum publishing).

He and I agree that instead of inviting strangers in, you should find a "third place" to go to. He said: "Dinner parties are great ways to connect people who are looking for ways to broaden their social circle, but they may not be the best way to start out trying to make friends in a place where most people's social ties are already broad and deep.

"Try finding ways to meet people gradually through social gatherings that are already established in your community: coffee shops, taverns, places of worship, service organizations. Let people get to know you in settings where they are comfortable, instead of asking them to meet you on your turf."

Too much stuff

Dear Amy: My mother married young and had five children. Mom is now almost 90, the "kids" are senior citizens, and even the grandkids are mostly in their 30s. When Mom moved to assisted living, nobody wanted her "stuff," like the china. So it ended up in my garage.

I want my garage back. I've tried talking to Mom about donating it, but her response is that if I want to get rid of anything, I should give it back to her, which is impossible. She is in the early stages of dementia and doesn't think practically anymore.

What's the right way to handle this? The five of us "kids" have a hard enough time navigating her decline, without this added tension around her china.

Amy says: You are faced with an ethical dilemma because you'd like to start this process against your mother's wishes (an understandable choice on your part). I think you'd ultimately feel best if you adhered to her wishes, despite her dementia.

I'd question why this burden has fallen entirely on you. This is where it would be a good idea for you to get "the team" together to rent a storage unit and then go through and transfer things to it. Devote a weekend to this task.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.