Season 2 of "Bar Rescue" (8 p.m., Spike) kicks off with our expert, Jon, trying to salvage a pirate-themed watering hole in Silver Springs, Md. Tip No. 1: Unless you're located on the coast of Florida, never open a pirate-themed bar.Monday
Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson is almost out of a job, which explains why the final episodes of "The Closer" (9 p.m., TNT) have her spitting nails. Her frustration level rises a few notches in this installment when the show loses a beloved character.Tuesday
The guest on "Trust Us With Your Life" (8:30 p.m., KSTP, Ch. 5) is David Hasselhoff, which gives the improvisational team an opportunity to re-create the "hamburger on the carpet" scene. Personally, I'd rather see them spoof host Fred Willard's visit to an adult theater.Wednesday
"So You Think You Can Dance?" (7 p.m., KMSP, Ch. 9) makes its first elimination, which will give judge Mary Murphy ample opportunity to make up a new wacko catchphrase and shatter the eardrums of viewers cursed with pitch-perfect hearing.Thursday
"BrandX With Russell Brand" (10 p.m., FX) concludes its short experimental run that really didn't answer the question of whether or not the polarizing comic can host a talk show. First of all, Brand has been sailing along without actual guests or much of a game plan. A little more structure, a little less silliness, please.