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Mid-day fun: Pavement's 'Cut Your Hair' re-imagined as a song about the Twins' lineup

Posted by: Michael Rand under Professional baseball, Twins fans Updated: March 24, 2014 - 12:04 PM

This started as a weird little back-and-forth on Twitter between us and RandBallsStu. It ended as a full-blown parody. We stole a couple lines from Stu's tweets, but otherwise the inspiration is all ours (and the Twins). Here is Pavement's "Cut Your Hair" re-imagined as a song about the Twins' offense. This is from the CD "Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain," which is much better thought of as "Crooked Numbers, Crooked Numbers?" Also, the original song and video are at the top for inspiration. Here we go:

Darlin’ go ahead and cut your roster

Do you think it’s gonna make things change?

You’re just a team with the same lineup,

And that’s a pretty bad lineup.

Scoring is a puzzle, offense getting muzzled, batter missed a sign

Look on deck, pinch hit, it’s 3-1 in the sixth

The bullpen phone is found.



Baseball scene's crazy, guys sent down each and every day

I saw another one just the other day 

A special new call-up

I remember scoring

I don't remember why

I don't remember where 

But I don't care, I care, I really don't care 

Did you see the second baseman’s hair? 



High OBPs and some pop a must.

No retreads!   

Runs mean a lot 

When runs are bought 

Or so, I’ve heard 

Rob, run down to the office phone 

Deal some pitching for some bats. 

Correia, Correia, Correia, Correia, Correia, Correia!

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