“Barry Switzer, our coach, used to tell the team, I’m your wagon master, we’re back in the covered wagon days, we’re going to California. We’ve got to cross the Mississippi River to get there. A lot of you are gonna die. We’re gonna have new faces as we go along the way, we’re gonna burn some of these wagons for firewood, float the Mississippi with others. This train is gonna get to California. I’m gonna try to be on it; I hope you’re on it. And so that’s kind of the nature of the challenge of an NFL season. And it’s right here in front of everybody to look at, and that’s as it should be. How we get there, what we do and how we adjust. We are having a rough time of it over what happened to us the other day, and I know we are – as fans and as everybody involved with the Dallas Cowboys.”
We're not exactly sure about all the metaphors there, but we're pretty sure that WR Dez Bryant killed a 900-pound buffalo and can only carry a small fraction of it with him ... defensive coordinator Monte Kiffin believes that the wagon should use square wheels ... and that head coach Jason Garrett might get dysentery.