Chen May Yee swapped life as a foreign correspondent in Asia for domesticity in Minneapolis, where she lives with preschooler Maya, kindergartener Zoe and husband Chris, a stay-at-home dad. She writes about healthcare at the Star Tribune and hankers after warmer climates.

Kay Krhin makes daily attempts to balance doing more with less and less with more at work and home, more or less. She is married to multi-faceted modern man Peter and is a slightly seasoned mother to preschooler Ben and toddler Vivian.

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Unsolicited Advice

Posted by: Kay Krhin under Advice Updated: May 23, 2010 - 9:08 AM

I think my tongue must have permanent teeth marks in it from biting it so much lately.

I have some friends who are in various stages of first-time motherhood. I have to remind myself to refrain from offering unsolicited stories and advice.

I remember how I felt when people freely offered their opinions and advice when I was first pregnant. I smiled and nodded as I heard “ Sleep while you still can!” or “Sleep while the baby sleeps!“ for the hundredth time. I listened, horrified, as mothers told me their play-by-play grueling birth stories. I swore I would never do the same. And I won't.

But there are some things that are hard to contain myself from sharing: the joys, the realities of motherhood.

Those are the things I wish someone had told me.

I just had to experience it for myself.

One wise friend did share that "Parenting can make your joy meter go off the charts high. And the depths for worry and sadness can hit lows that you didn't even know existed."   Yep.

She also told me this. "You and your husband will both have times when you each think you are doing waaaaay  more than the other. But the reality is you both are doing  a lot."   So true.

Come to think of it not only did she give me great advice, she also brought me a bag of  these  little  bra extender thingies when I was pregnant so I didn't have to go out and buy new bras right away. A must. (There is my advice for any pregnant women - get some bra extender thingies.)

 I have a load of unsolicited advice, but want to hear yours.

What was the best advice you received on pregnancy or parenting? 

Or what advice are you dying to share? Go ahead, share below.


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