Q I usually agree with your "stay positive and focus on what you control" approach, but that's increasingly challenging. My employer is contemplating layoffs to close a budget gap that is smaller than some of the "bonuses" being paid to individuals at failing Wall Street companies. I'm seeing a lot more anger among my direct reports. Anger added to fear is a toxic mix, one I'm feeling myself. Help!
A Last week's column focused on dealing with your personal feelings; this week's addresses ways to help your team.
The inner game
Settle yourself down. Do a quick scan of your feelings. If you're angry or anxious, revisit last week's steps to get grounded. Also draw on other resources to help you, if needed.
Look around. Notice how each person in your group expresses the stress of the situation. Expect to see a lot of differences. Some may be very vocal about their feelings, while others may become withdrawn. It's easy to confuse quiet with acceptance, so make a point of finding out how people are doing.
Manage your reactions. How do you react when someone handles stress differently than you? A "tough it out" person may be impatient with someone who needs to talk about their feelings, while a more expressive person may be frustrated with the strong, silent type. All styles need to be respected so that you don't cause someone to shut down.
Know your expectations. While you can't tell people what to feel, it is your responsibility to set expectations for behavior in the workplace. Define how you expect people to talk and behave, and consider how you'll deal with people who aren't meeting your expectations. For example, think about how you'd handle negativity, rumor-mongering or underperformance.
The outer game