Minnesota sports: Welcome to the Land of 10,000 Deals

Welcome to the Land of 10,000 Trades.

Here are the rosters of all your favorite teams.

Wait, sorry, I'm going to need to make a quick edit. Looks like Twins just made a trade. Says here they are getting ... Sonny Gray from the Reds.

OK, he's been added. Let's continue.

Errrrrrr ... sorry, need that back again. Another trade! I guess that was to be expected given the whole "Land of 10,000 Trades" thing. Cross off Mitch Garver. He's going to the Rangers. And add Isiah Kiner-Falefa. The Twins got a shortstop they needed. OK, should be set now for a while on that roster.

Wait ... um, this is embarrassing. I need that back again. Now the Twins have traded Kiner-Falefa! And Josh Donaldson! And Ben Rortvedt! To the Yankees! And they got back ... um, Gary Sanchez and Gio Urshela.

Maybe I should just give you an entirely new sheet of paper at this point since this one is all marked up.

Oh, wow. This is embarrassing. Now I need that Wild roster. Looks like Bill Guerin just swapped Nico Sturm for Tyson Jost. Well, that's a quick fix. Depth center for depth center. And Guerin said he's not here to fix all the Wild's problems, so maybe that will be it before the trade deadline. We can probably get some sleep.

WAKE UP!

Minnesota United just traded for Kemar Lawrence. And the Twins just signed Carlos Correa. Yes, you heard me. They spent $35 million in 2022 on one player. And you thought you were going to miss the Kiner-Falefa era. Give me those rosters. I'll update them.

OK, that should be it. Go outside and enjoy the unseasonably nice weather on this fine Monday. I will come find you if ...

WAIT!

OK, really, that should be it. Unless the Twins add another pitcher soon.

I know this is a lot. Just be thankful — but not really — that the Vikings didn't trade Kirk Cousins during all this.