1. Ravens (1-0)

Apparently, Lamar Jackson somehow survived not having OTAs in March.

2. Chiefs (1-0)

In 37 games, including playoffs, Patrick Mahomes is 29-8 with 25 games of 30 or more points. Think. About. That.

3. Saints (1-0)

They also play defense in the Big Easy. See: 14 points off defensive takeaways.

4. Seahawks (1-0)

Russell Wilson had as many TD passes as incompletions (four) in 35 attempts. Apparently, he survived having no preseason games.

5. Patriots (1-0)

What does Bill Belichick do without Tom Brady's arm? Use Cam Newton's legs.

6. Packers (1-0)

Apparently, facing Aaron Rodgers with no pass rush, no fans and no experienced cornerbacks is not ideal.

7. Steelers (1-0)

The Ravens might have to work to win the AFC North with Ben Roethlisberger healthy and Pittsburgh's defense still nasty.

8. Bills (1-0)

Josh Allen threw for 312 yards, ran for 57 and kept Stefon Diggs happy for four whole quarters.

9. Cardinals (1-0)

Kyler Murray and DeAndre Hopkins. The NFC's Next Big Thing pulls off the upset of the week at San Francisco.

10. 49ers (0-1)

Already banged up and alone in last place in the NFC West, the reigning NFC champs should find happiness in facing the Jets.

11. Titans (1-0)

They missed four kicks … and still won.

12. Rams (1-0)

The Rams have lost as many season openers under Sean McVay — zero — as the number of times McVay wore his mask on Sunday.

13. Buccaneers (0-1)

Apparently, being 43 and changing teams after 20 years while in a pandemic shutdown isn't as easy as we all thought it would be.

14. Cowboys (0-1)

Dear Mr. McCarthy, when trailing by three late in the game, ignore analytics and just take the chip shot field goal.

15, Raiders (1-0)

They avoided an ugly loss after blowing a 12-point fourth-quarter lead.

16. Bears (1-0)

Did Mitchell Trubisky play good, bad or ugly? D, All of the above.

17. Washington (1-0)

They don't have a name, but they're forming an identity under Ron Rivera after sacking Carson Wentz eight times.

18. Texans (0-1)

The toughest first two weeks of the season goes from playing Kansas City to facing Baltimore.

19. Jaguars (1-0)

Apparently, not everyone wants out of Jacksonville. The biggest Week 1 home underdog shocked Philip Rivers and the Colts.

20. Chargers (1-0)

It wasn't pretty, but they did sneak out of Cincinnati without losing to the worst team of 2019.

21. Vikings (0-1)

The Packers handed them a Danielle Hunter-sized tweaking.

22. Eagles (0-1)

On behalf of many disgruntled survivor pool losers, Philly was the biggest disappointment of Week 1.

23. Colts (0-1)

Indy got its first Philip Rivers-esque day — 363 yards passing and two interceptions leading to 10 points in a 7-point loss.

24. Broncos (0-1)

Sorry, Mr. Fangio, but NFL rules do not allow timeouts to accrue from week to week.

25. Falcons (0-1)

Atlanta had 506 yards of offense, had two receivers with 287 yards, and, oh yeah, lost.

26. Lions (0-1)

Hired for his defensive-minded prowess, Matt Patricia fell to 9-23-1 while allowing Trubisky to throw three fourth-quarter TDs.

27. Dolphins (0-1)

Happy not to face Brady's arm, Miami gets trampled for 217 yards rushing in another loss to the Patriots.

28. Panthers (0-1)

Teddy Bridgewater threw for 270 yards and was turnover-free, but Carolina's defense couldn't hold a 12-point fourth-quarter lead.

29. Giants (0-1)

Opening against Pittsburgh's pass rush was not a good matchup for the Giants' offensive line.

30. Jets (0-1)

No defense. Not enough offense. J-E-T-S! Jets, Jets, Jets!

31. Bengals (0-1)

The defense put up a fight and No. 1 overall pick Joe Burrow showed some grit under duress in a three-point loss.

32. Browns (0-1)

The undisputed weaklings of Week 1s, Cleveland was nipped by 32 points in falling to 0-1 for the 16th consecutive season.