The DNR has asked people to keep their drones at least 5 miles away from fires. I’m sorry, what? One day drones are something you hear about in news articles with phrases like “No. 2 Al-Qaida leader” and “missile strike” and the next day there are lots of guys who’ve gone to Drone Depot, bought an autonomous mini-copter, programmed it to shoot video of fires, and tossed it out the window shouting FLY, MY PRETTY. It’s like seeing your mailman going from house to house with a jetpack. I missed something.
I should note that I am pro-drone. We think the future of transportation will be streetcars, but people will sling hammocks under sturdy drones and fly to work a foot above the pavement. (Stuck behind a slow driver? Go over him.) It’ll be nice to walk the dog with a drone on inclement days, although if the drone encounters another one walking a dog, the leashes will get tangled, and they’ll look like dragonflies having a fight in a bar parking lot.
In other news: Mille Lacs is limiting walleye catches to one fish, because they’re running low, and it’s not like you can get 100,000 overnight from Amazon Prime. (Yet.) This makes fishing rather personal, like Moby Dick with outboard motors. What they’d call Up North your Ahab-type situation there.
This is where drone fishing comes in. The state will tag the walleye with an electronic beacon, and “Fishing Opener” will consist of pairing your drone and fish via Bluetooth. Some people will operate the drone from their house; traditionalists will insist on going out to the end of the dock to use the controls. When you see a drone flying wildly, dipping its blades into the water and throwing minnow bits all over, you’ll know Bill has had a few. But that’s part of fishing.
Just as Time magazine made Minnesota famous with a picture of Gov. Wendy Anderson holding up a walleye, a website will show Gov. Dayton at his desk, operating a joystick. It won’t be the same, but it’s the 21st century! And if ever those walleye join Al-Qaida, we’re set.