Cosmo, via Nickolodeon

Cosmo, via Nickolodeon

Every parent knows what I mean when I say there’s always one cartoon your kids love that makes you want to put out your eyes with red-hot knitting needles. Oh, and your ears, too, because they way they all talk drives you crazy. In related news:

Nickelodeon has made a grown-up decision.


The kids channel has greenlighted a live-action/computer-animated adaptation of its hit toon "The Fairly Odd Parents," starring Drake Bell ("Drake and Josh") as a twenty something Timmy Turner who's still in the fifth grade because "Da Rules" dictate that godchildren lose their fairies when they grow up.


Set to premiere next year, "A Fairly Odd Movie: Grow Up, Timmy Turner!" also stars Daniella Monet as Tootie, Jason Alexander as Cosmo, Cheryl Hines as Wanda and Steven Weber as Hugh J. Magnate.

Some parents loved the show because it has occasional pop-culture references grown-ups can get - and by “grown-ups” I mean protracted adolescents who think knowing the backstories of Gilligan’s Island characters comprises some sort of of cultural literacy. (The Skipper was really named Jonas Grumby? Seriously? Dude, you should go on, like, Jeopardy.)


But it’s a matter of taste. Some love that style of animation - flat, with enormous black borders - and some loved the screechy voices and witless parents. But you know how the fairies hung in the air and floated up and down? Okay. Picture Jason Alexander doing that.


Please tell me they’ll be miniaturized, but the idea of a full-sized Jason Alexander floating around with a star wand is not something I want to consider. Lunch is coming up.

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