Cat got your tongue in meetings? Here's how to free it up

Q I'm a bit shy at work, and I want to change that. In meetings I'll often have ideas and be afraid to speak up. Then someone else mentions the same thing and gets a lot of recognition. What should I do?

A Prepare, trust in the quality of your ideas, and find safe ways to get started.

The inner game

First, the big picture. Anchor yourself in believing in the contributions you'd be making and the value you'd bring to your company.

Start by looking backward. The triggers that have caused you to hold back could go way back to school, or they may be more recent. Many people struggle with embarrassment from having made a mistake in what they said, or from having been mocked or chided. Some easily shrug this off, but it has a stronger effect on others. Is this the case for you? If so, do a reality check on your current environment. Notice that ideas are rewarded, and set aside dated feelings about what happens to people who speak up.

Then look inward. At a deeper level, do you feel qualified to raise new perspectives? Define any limiting beliefs and develop counter-perspectives that help you move forward. You may also be adhering to some ideas about your role. Do "market analysts" compile information or interpret and recommend action? If you see it as just the former, you'll be less apt to speak up.

Finally, think about your company's culture. What responses do people in similar roles receive when they're more outspoken? Is there a hierarchy at play, or are your limits are self-imposed?

To change your behavior, start simple and set achievable goals. Here are some ways to start.

Pick a group you're comfortable with. It may be because they're more familiar, that you have more expertise, or that they're generally gentler. Executive teams or teams that have a reputation for chewing people up? Save them for later.

Know the agenda for the meeting and plan some possible contributions. Great ideas are often spontaneous, but it can help to have some thoughts teed up.

Prepare yourself. Not your ideas -- your body and your attitude. If you tend to slouch back in your chair, as though you're retreating, practice having engaged body language. Sit up and look like a participant in all meetings and conversations. Focus on your voice, learning to project and sound confident. Use your breath to support your voice. Ease your nervousness by visualizing your hoped-for outcome.

If you start to clench up in a meeting, take some deep breaths -- it'll be a huge help. Remind yourself to believe in your ideas and give them a voice. Revisit the benefits, internal and external, of expressing yourself more fully.

The last word

Your ideas will speak for themselves if you let them; create a base from which you can let them out.