Dear Amy: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year. My pets and I moved in with him in December. He’s an amazing guy — the absolute best!
The issue concerns his sister, who now also has moved her family into the three-bedroom house. This took the total number of people from two adults to four adults and six kids — not to mention three cats and two dogs.
I feel like my boyfriend and I have become prisoners in his house because there is constant drama and chaos. When his sister’s family has fights, we have to sit in our room or in the garage (which we have converted to a bedroom) while they slam doors and throw things. And if we even try to bring up any of this stuff, it’s World War III.
How do I tell my boyfriend I’m sick of how they take advantage of him and disrespect his house and belongings? I want them gone, ASAP, but I don’t want to be the bad guy!
Amy says: You don’t have a valid reason to put your foot down about this crowded house. You don’t have an ownership stake in the property. It’s your boyfriend’s house. And while he very well might be overwhelmed, if he wants his sister and her many family members to find other housing, he needs to tell them.
Getting his family members to move out might be a difficult prospect, especially for someone like your guy, who hides in his bedroom. You, however, are an individual with choices, and if your living situation isn’t healthy for you, then you should find housing elsewhere.
Wedding snub
Dear Amy: I have helped out my sister’s children over the years. (She is a single mom.) I’ve provided vacations every summer, school clothes at the end of summer, hosted them for many Christmas breaks and helped by giving money to their mom.
Now they’re grown. The youngest is getting married soon in my city. The wedding is small, and I did not make the guest list. I am disappointed, but I understand that they have a tight budget.
