Dear Amy: I have a lot of hesitation about a visit by my brother and sister-in-law this summer. They last visited us two years ago. It did not go well. My brother made a lot of negative comments about my family and our lifestyle, including how we live and where we live.

During our phone calls over the years, I never encountered the negative downside of him. I have visited him several times during the last 10 years at his home (to welcome babies), and those visits went well.

During his visit with us, however, his attitude, comments and conversations reminded me of our father from years ago — and that is not a good thing. He has offered to stay at a hotel, but do you have any suggestions on how I can have him stay at our home and have it go better than the last visit?

Amy says: The short answer would be for your brother to behave differently. Is this likely? You shouldn't count on it.

In some cases, it can be easier on relationships if longer-term guests stay elsewhere during a visit. You could address this with your brother by responding: "If you would feel more comfortable at a hotel, I'm happy to send links for you to make a choice. Whatever works best for you is fine with us. We've always had a good time staying with you and want to reciprocate, but I don't think you were comfortable in our home the last time you visited."

I think you should approach this visit with a hopeful attitude, but you should also consider and strategize about how you will respond if your brother insults you personally when he is with you.

Nap flap

Dear Amy: I care for my 15-month-old granddaughter on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 8 a.m. until noon. I'm not paid, but I am very happy to do this.

What's become an issue is my son and daughter-in-law's insistence that I not allow my granddaughter to nap during my morning shifts. Instead, they prefer that nap time be reserved for the afternoons so they can focus on their jobs (they both work at home).

I see sleep deprivation as a form of child abuse, and my son and daughter-in-law's demands to be somewhat selfish. If I call them out on this, I fear they will reduce my contact with my granddaughter. What do you think I should do?

Amy says: Babies this age normally take two naps a day. Having a rested baby is better than an exhausted and fussy baby.

I suggest that you let the child sleep when she needs to, and if the parents confront you about it, you should tell them that you believe it is better for their baby if she is allowed to follow her body's needs. If they have a problem with that and want to "fire" you over it, let them find and compensate another caregiver.

Send questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.