Q: I'm a girl and I have a best friend who is a guy. He used to live with me, but recently moved out because we were fighting all the time. Everyone says we should be together, but whenever that is brought up it becomes very apparent that he is disturbed by it. However, he moved out on Sunday and it's Thursday, but already he has had me over every day except Tuesday. We watch a movie in his bed, then go to sleep. We don't cuddle or anything, but I'm confused. Is he just wanting my friendship? There have been multiple incidences where it seems like he has wanted more, but the biggest thing I guess is just the way he literally stares into my eyes. He doesn't blink or anything, just stares, almost to a point where it's creepy, but it's him so I don't care. Just curious. Please help me if you can.

A: It's possible he wants more than friendship from you but, for whatever reason, isn't pursuing anything right now. Guys do this for all sorts of reasons, such as:

He has little confidence in his ability to be half of a happy relationship. He may be looking ahead and seeing only the bad moments, like fights over laundry piles or even a breakup. Given the amount of arguing the two of you did as roommates, he may not be very confident in your ability, either. Ask him if he feels that you two are closer friends now that you no longer live together. If he says yes, he might be imagining what it would be like to be more than friends.

He has a history of bad relationships -- or is surrounded by them. Guys (and girls) can develop strong misconceptions about relationships when they have little experience being in healthy ones. Likewise, if all of your best friend's buddies are coupled up with jealous, high-maintenance types, he may think all women act that way once they're no longer single. Take a look at his past, as well as his surroundings. Don't neglect to get introspective: How have you behaved in your own past relationships?

He doesn't want to screw up your friendship. The smarter man might cite this as a reason for not turning a platonic thing into something more, so kudos to him if that's the case. It means he values your existence in his life and is grateful for the time you spend together.

The only way you're going to know if he's just trying to protect your BFF status, though, is by asking him. But before you go asking him any questions, ask yourself if you really want to know the answers.

Are you interested in having him as a boyfriend? Consider all the things you used to fight about as roommates. Are they easily surmountable obstacles? Did you only fight because you spent too much time around each other, or are there obvious personality conflicts that would prevent you from being happy together? It's an easy and rather natural progression to become best friends with your boyfriend, but it doesn't work so well the other way around. You risk toxic fighting, forcing other friends to pick sides and ultimately killing an important friendship. It's probably best to stop wondering how he feels, quit with the shared-bed sleepovers and keep your boy in the friend zone.

Q: Vegans exclude all animal products from their lives: no dairy products, no eggs, no honey and no leather. What about semen?

A: If people are out there extracting semen from animals for the purpose of human consumption, I don't want to know about it. If we're comparing the willing ingestion of human semen to the consumption of animal products like meat, milk and fur, then the difference is consent. A baby cow does not agree to being slaughtered and skinned, whereas no man I know would turn down a blow job and a tidy finish.

  • Alexis McKinnis is taking your questions about sex, dating and relationships. Send them to advice@vita.mn or submit anonymously at www.vita.mn/alexis. Don't leave out the juicy details!