If you've ever visited the rolling hills and deep valleys of Wisconsin's "driftless area" south of La Crosse, you know it's a lovely place to take a drive — and a lousy place to take a ride in the back of a runaway Ford 150 driven by the man who stole it.

Just ask Dwight Zietlow, 55, a self-described "crazy old hippie" who did just that. His adventure was described this week by Matt Johnson of the Vernon County Broadcaster. It is a tale worth repeating, and not just because it's a quintessential Western Wisconsin story, where things of this nature just seem to happen.

Zietlow's truck, which he uses for a landscape and handyman business, was stolen about four weeks ago in Viroqua, a little more than three hours southeast of the Twin Cities. Zietlow reported the theft to local authorities but kept an eye out for the truck himself.

On his way to his daughter's wedding rehearsal, Zietlow spotted the truck, which had been painted, at an intersection near Coon Valley and blocked it with his car.

"Dude. Where did you get the truck?" Zietlow said, approaching the driver.

The man started to take off, so Zietlow did something straight out of the "Dukes of Hazzard": Wearing a knife in a sheath on his belt, he jumped in the bed of the truck.

Cue the crazy caper music — Dwight Zietlow's wild ride was about to begin.

The man driving the truck hit the gas. What followed was a dangerous ride down rough roads and across farm fields as the driver spun doughnuts with the truck and careened through ditches trying to throw Zietlow from the truck bed. The ride took between 15 minutes and half an hour, according to Zietlow and authorities.

Zietlow held fast.

The pickup was filled with an odd assortment of items and they "were banging me up pretty good," said Zietlow. So he started to throw the items out of the truck to attract attention and "leave a trail" for police in case they crashed into a ravine. A toolbox. Chunks of wood. Two spare tires.

Zietlow got to the chain saw too late, and it gashed his leg so badly he later needed seven stitches. "When I seen the blood I didn't think nothing of it," he said. "I was pumped up pretty good."

The truck hit speeds of 70 miles per hour or more at times, zigzagging around sharp curves and down hills.

"He kept me pretty busy," said Zietlow. "Every time I'd steady myself, he'd swerve sideways."

Zietlow thought about jumping, but "the pavement was going by too fast."

"So I lay there in the grease and oil, dirt flying in my face," Zietlow said. "I couldn't see anything."

Zietlow thought about whether he was going to die or see his seven kids again. Then he got a moment of clarity when he realized it was out of his hands. He calmed down, then relaxed, waiting for the ordeal to end.

"Whatever was going to happen was going to happen," Zietlow said. "Wasn't nothing I could do about it."

Finally, the man drove the pickup into a farm field and what he did next startled Zietlow: The man jumped out of the truck at a high speed.

"He bounced like a rubber ball," Zietlow said.

The truck continued to cross the field, and Zietlow wondered if he could swing around into the open door of the truck, like they do on television. He saw some small trees ahead, and a child's playhouse with a slide, and beyond that a propane tank. There was nothing he could do.

The truck hit the trees and flipped, smashing through the playhouse. Zietlow landed in the field, injuring his back, but otherwise in one piece.

Some people in the next farm yard were setting up a bouncy castle for a kid's party, and they started screaming. Then they started yelling at Zietlow and accusing him: "What were you doing? How much have you been drinking?"

Officers who arrived on the scene asked the same questions. No one would believe he wasn't driving because the driver wasn't in sight.

Zietlow has long hair and a long, unruly beard, and he'd gotten filthy during the ride.

"I can understand their suspicion, you know, with first impressions," said his daughter, Gail, who had been waiting for him at the rehearsal.

When they heard he'd been in an accident, some of the wedding party rushed to the scene to find Dad and an overturned truck.

"You never want to hear someone has been in an accident, especially the night before your sister's wedding," said Gail. "He took a little joy ride."

Officers eventually believed Zietlow. But by then the suspect was gone. Authorities say he stole a tractor, then a truck. He was arrested across the border in Minnesota.

Zietlow made it to the wedding and riveted the crowd with his tale.

"He's a very lucky guy," said Lt. Jason Crume of the Vernon County Sheriff's Office. "The roads in our county have a lot of sharp turns."

Asked if the adventure was in character for her father, Gail didn't hesitate: "absolutely."

When she heard the real story, Gail said, "Yep, that sounds like my dad. This probably tops anything he's done before. He has always kind of done his own thing, but we love him anyway."

Asked if he would do it again, Zietlow said: "I would."

"Humans need to have a strong community, and within our community we need to let these thieves and drug dealers know that we won't take that," Zietlow said. "That was my truck, my livelihood, and I wasn't going anywhere without it."

jtevlin@startribune.com • 612-673-1702

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