Caution: What you are about to read is not scientific. At all. It is, at best, pseudo-science -- words dressed up to sound official, when really they rely on instincts and sentiments instead of facts and evidence. With that in mind, and with knowledge that we enjoy a good advanced baseball statistic more than most, we present a few fancy- sounding terms that are really just acronyms for the ways in which we watch Twins games:
IFG (I FEEL GOOD)
As in, when certain Twins players are hitting, fielding or pitching in big situations, you think to yourself, "I feel good" about the prospects of how things will turn out. Like, say, if Danny Valencia is hitting with the bases loaded. Or if the Twins need to get a rally started and Joe Mauer is due up first in the inning. Or a fly ball is cracked into the gap, but Ben Revere appears to have a good jump (Wednesday's drop notwithstanding). These are the clutch situations when you are nervous but truly optimistic.
CYE (COVER YOUR EYES)
The exact opposite of IFG. Not to name names, but hard-hit balls in certain directions inspire something far short of confidence while traveling ... and delighted surprise, sometimes, when they find a glove. As former major leaguer Pedro Guerrero once reportedly mused when asked what he was thinking while playing third base: "I hope they don't hit it to me." His second thought: "I hope they don't hit it to [second baseman Steve] Sax." In general terms, it's that feeling of a game slipping away for nothing other than circumstances and matchups falling the wrong way at the biggest moments.
OICS (ONLY IN CERTAIN SITUATIONS)
A moment that could turn into an IFG or CYE depending on circumstances. Example: Michael Cuddyer comes up in a big spot. If he lays off two sliders and gets ahead in the count, the proper metric is IFG. If he guesses wrong and misses big to get behind in the count, you're CYE.
BSF (BULLPEN SQUINT FACTOR)
When a Twins starter gets up in pitch count or starts to struggle mid-inning, eyes turn to any potential stirring in the bullpen. The sooner you can identify who is getting up to throw -- possibly even before the names flash on the Target Field video board -- the sooner you can determine wither it's closer to an IFG or a CYE moment.