At this time of year, everyone fantasizes about a perfect holiday spent with a blissful, conflict-free family, just like the ones in all those TV commercials and magazine spreads. In real life, the Christmas dinner table is often set with grudges, sniping, bad behavior and injured feelings, with a slice of estrangement for dessert.

That pretty much sums up the current state of Gophers football's extended family, which has fractured like a slab of bad ice. Monday's introduction of Jerry Kill as the new head coach should have united it in hope and optimism. Instead, it just proved Gopher Nation needs one more critical hire: a therapist.

With athletic director Joel Maturi as the flashpoint, the 51-day search for a football coach became a destructive force, opening a gaping wound in the program's base of support. While it remains to be seen whether Kill can pull it out of a 40-year tailspin, one thing is certain. That cannot happen unless all those who truly care about Gophers football bury their grievances. If they don't, they will only inflict more damage on a program that can't handle any more problems.

Maturi is about as popular as E. coli among a mass of fans, alumni and former players. He has made costly mistakes that warrant criticism, but some of his detractors have allowed their feelings about Maturi to cloud their judgment. During the search, former Gophers punter Adam Kelly sent an e-mail to eight officials at Temple University -- where potential candidate Al Golden coaches -- saying that former players offered their apologies in advance if Maturi attempted to speak to Golden without contacting Temple's athletic director first.

Presumably, Kelly wanted the U to hire a highly regarded coach. His inflammatory, foolish e-mail, apparently prompted by his dislike of Maturi, torpedoed the U's ability to do so. Four decades of aimlessness made the Gophers job a tough enough sell. The spectacle of former players publicly undermining the athletic director made it all the more unattractive, leaving candidates to wonder what kind of dysfunction and dissent they could be walking into.

Kelly and the "Save Gopher Football" group, a band of football alumni and fans who took out an anti-Maturi ad in the Minnesota Daily, created lots of noise during the search process. It's worth noting, though, that Maturi still has the backing of several influential boosters, including a group of big-money donors who sent a letter supporting him to U President Robert Bruininks and the Board of Regents. While they don't deny others the right to rip Maturi, they understandably objected when the tactics turned toxic.

The unfortunate bystander in all this is Kill, who seems unruffled by the family feud he has just entered. He is a well-regarded coach, a charming and self-effacing guy, a football-obsessed workaholic and a popular figure with players. But when his hiring was announced Sunday night, many fans reacted as if they'd just gotten socks and underwear for Christmas. When they didn't get the splashy hire they wanted, they welcomed the new coach with a groan.

That's shamefully unfair to Kill. To his credit, he responded in a manner that shows he has the right constitution for a thankless task.

"I've had people roll their eyes every time I've gotten a job," he said. "I understand that. I have no problem with people judging me."

Then he stressed a point that anyone who really, truly cares about the Gophers should take to heart. In order for the football program to achieve anything, Kill said, it will take a team effort. He wasn't talking only about the guys in uniform, but about the university community, alumni and all Minnesota sports fans.

Though there were thousands of empty seats in TCF Bank Stadium last fall, the coaching search made it clear that criticizing the Gophers remains a popular pastime. The depth of anti-Maturi sentiment means many people wouldn't be happy with anyone he hired.

It's time to get past that. Those who genuinely want Gophers football to succeed will put away the pitchforks and torches, drop the grudges and give Kill a chance to show what he can do. If they can let go of the animus, the program has a chance. And if they don't, not even Dr. Phil will be able to heal this fractured family.

Rachel Blount • rblount@startribune.com