ADVERTISEMENT

Snowden bombshell: aliens helped Hitler!

  • Blog Post by: James Lileks
  • January 13, 2014 - 12:23 PM

Sure. Right. Or, look at it this way: If you were part of the alien conspiracy, how would you discredit anyone who attempted to reveal your secret plans for humanity? Simple. Reveal the plans yourself, with a few details changed. That’s the only thing that explains this.

Former National Security Agency (NSA) contractor Edward Snowden revealed documents providing incontrovertible proof that an alien/extraterrestrial intelligence agenda is driving US domestic and international policy, and has been doing so since at least 1945, some media reports said. A stunning Federal Security Services (FSB) report on the nearly two million highly classified top-secret documents obtained from the United States Department of Defense (DOD) run National Security Agency-Central Security Service (NSA/CSS) by the American ex-patriot Edward Snowden states that this information is providing “incontrovertible proof” that an “alien/extraterrestrial intelligence agenda” is driving US domestic and international policy, and has been doing so since at least 1945, Whatdoesitmean.com reported.

You’re wondering if these were the same aliens in charge of the Nazi weapons program; congrats. Same guys.

Of the many explosive revelations in this FSB report, the one most concerning to Russian authorities are the Snowden’s documents “confirming” that the “Tall Whites” are the same extraterrestrial alien race behind the stunning rise of Nazi Germany during the 1930’s.

Well, that explains David Bowie, but it doesn’t understand why the Nazis lost.

Snowden’s documents further confirm, this report says, the “Tall Whites” (Nordic) meetings in 1954 with US President Dwight D. Eisenhower where the “secret regime” currently ruling over America was established.

Why would the aliens back Hitler? The article notes that they’re Tall White Nordic Aliens, so that might explain things, but again, what’s the point? Conquest? Or is this what advanced civilizations do when simulated entertainment gets boring? Think about it: we imagine “Independence Day” scenarios where the aliens show up to steal our resources, “Predator” scenarios where they come to hunt for sport. But what if some aliens come to amuse themselves by pitting groups against each in long-term strategic games? That’s right: the world is being run by alien nerds who are playing their version of Dungeons and Dragons.

SCIENCE! The latest view of the universe is astonishing:

Just a corner of the sky, and it teems with galaxies. Slate’s Bad Astronomer explains what you’re looking at. (Hint: the beginning of creation.)

Wonder who’s home. Seems unlikely they'd come here to help someone annex Poland. 

To show how far we’ve come, here’s a 1955 Kodak ad that shows the wonders of the universe:

That white speck is the entire Andromeda Galaxy! Captured with a Brownie! What astonishing -

No, sorry, that was dust on the scanner. Anyway, If there’s someone out there, why haven’t we heard from them? Perhaps we have. A Top Ten piece that ended up in my Zite app feed reminded me of the Wow! signal, a radio signal that may have been extraterrestrial in origin. I didn’t know this:

In 2012, on the 35th anniversary of the Wow! signal, Arecibo Observatory beamed a response from humanity, containing 10,000 Twitter messages, in the direction from which the signal originated. In the response, Arecibo scientists have attempted to increase the chances of intelligent life receiving and decoding the celebrity videos and crowd-sourced Tweets by attaching a repeating sequence header to each message that will let the recipient know that the messages are intentional and from another intelligent life form.

Not if there’s any YOLO SWAG in there.

If you’re wondering what the #1 historical mystery might be - greater than the signal from aliens: “The Identity of the Babushka Lady” who was present at the JFK assassination.

Greatest mystery in history. Yep. Hands down.

ARCHITORTURE This came as a surprise: Portland hates its Municipal Building, and wants to tear it down. Atlantic Cities:

One of Portland, Oregon's most important buildings is also one of its most detested. Now facing a $95 million renovation, some city commissioners are calling for its demolition. The Portland Building, a 15-story municipal structure downtown, is the work of Michael Graves. A designer, Graves is more often admired for his household products than his edifices. But the 31-year-old Portland Building is one of America's first significant pieces of postmodern architecture. At the time it was built, it was seen as a refreshing rejection of modernism. It won an AIA award in 1983.

It looks cartoony now; most of the early post-modern stuff looks a bit absurd, models exaggerated to preposterous dimensions. The glassy examples look flabby, and the ones that incorporated Ironic Classical Quotations look like something a giant child made out of building blocks. Far be it from me to tell another city what they should preserve - especially if it’s hated by two key groups, those who walk past it and those who have to go inside, but it was a groundbreaking idea. Can’t find a public domain photo, so you’ll just have to go here if you can’t place it off the top of your head.

VIDEO OF THE DAY “Hey, Ron.”

”Hey, Billy.”

As they say: wait for it. 

© 2014 Star Tribune