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Worst TV Anchor Debut in Human History

  • Blog Post by: James Lileks
  • April 22, 2013 - 12:32 PM

Possibly. Mediaite says:

They say you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression, which is probably fine by one local broadcaster. In what may have been the shortest news-anchoring gig ever, A.J. Clemente began his career with Bismarck, North Dakota NBC affiliate KFYR with the tired old news cliché
(profanity removed, because this is a family newspaper, and you really need to hear it in context.)

It’s here. He has been suspended pending an investigation into how stupid can one guy be. Is this brilliant debut - which goes from muttered words One Does Not Say On the Set Ever to a leaden read on top stories - this indicative of NoDak newsreader quality? Can’t speak for KFYR’s history, but when I was growing up in Fargo the newsreaders seemed much older. They didn’t look like callow sprouts. Of course, I was ten, but still.

UPDATE: Drudge has linked. This is the worst day in this young man’s life.

Also in Television News: these lyrics may be completely obscene, but I can’t tell. Can you guess which American show is being, er, reimagined for Georgian TV?

 

 

Answer at the end of the post.

 

MAD MEN Not a full-out comedy episode, but close. For all the obsessives who absolutely have to know every detail, the LIFE magazine on the table in Pete Campbell’s pied-a-tierre was from May 19th, 1967, and had astronaut Wally Schirra on the cover.

 

 

As for the advertising-related plot: I thought both Don and Peggy’s ketchup ads were good, which is the oddest thing I will write all day. Because, c’mon: they’re ketchup ads. But you saw two schools of thought at work, and each had their merits - Don’s campaign made you think about something but not showing it, and Peggy went for blunt brand awareness. What did Heinz actually run? Something worse.

 

 

 

 

 

APPS Last I raved about the new Yahoo! weather app, and said it changed pictures of your location every day.  I was misinformed. Subsequent use indicates that it rotates between three (3) pictures. Still pretty, though. Nothing for Fargo, which either doesn’t have enough pictures in Flickr with a Fargo tag, or Yahoo hates Fargo.

While we’re on the subject of Apps: the other day at Cub I forgot my Cub Rewards Card, which meant I could not be Rewarded. (At Cub.) The self-check machine asks if I’d like to scan my card; I push the “forgot the card because it’s in another coat and it’s not the sort of thing I’d carry around in my wallet, because I like a thin wallet. You understand” option on the screen. Whereupon it asks me to enter my Cub Rewards Number.

Sure, that’s something I committed to memory. Could I link the number to my phone number? No. But not to worry. I have the Cub Rewards App. The number’s in there. I open it up and the number’s not in there. All the information is blank for some reason. Not to worry: I can get the number  by signing into my account, because of course I have a login and a password for the bleepin’ grocery store. Doesn’t everyone? But since I can’t remember my password I use the RETRIEVE function, which will send my password to my email box, but it times out twice and says it cannot retrieve any information. You want to weep because you're just trying to buy a loaf of bread but you've forgotten your password.

No, there wasn’t anyone in line behind me.

 

ANSWER I think you can get an idea what show the Georgians used as inspiration for this . . . this thing.

 

 (via LaughingSquid, which has more on its creators.)

The bird talks and lives with them, by the way. He also apparently incapable of looking up.

The full clip is 19 minutes, but during two attempts to watch it, the clip has decided it’s shorter, and stopped. I must have enabled “Mercy” in my settings; have to change that. YouTube’s no fun if it decides to stop showing something for your own good. This morning, for example, I found myself  watching a monthly compendium of UFO sightings, one of which included a UFO shooting a Spanish wind turbine with a Laser. It’s proven with filters!

 

As someone notes in the comments:

Pretty naive from you. Or maybe you intend if you are one of them or if you are little puppets which work for US governement NCA CIA or other Reptilian services on this planet

 

Put deeper your hand in sand and your mind in darkness of ignorance. Afer your short Life you will finish like a food for Astral or Etheric parasites on other levels on this planet.

This is why we need the internet: so people who actually have sufficient time on their hands to debunk the videos in the comments section can enter into a flamewar with someone who believes in the Reptilian Conspiracy. If there wasn’t an internet they would wander the streets picking fights with birds.

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