If this happened in a Lance Lawson (which returns this Thursday, by the way) we would find it far-fetched:

"Car crash. Two cars crashed near the intersection of County Road 46 and Pilot Knob Road. One of the drivers fled the scene without stopping. But the car whose driver fled had left the imprint of its front license plate on the side of the vehicle that was hit. An officer quickly ran a computer check on the license plate and found that it came back to a nearby residence in Farmington. Farmington officers responded to the residence and found the driver, who failed field sobriety tests given by the officers and was arrested for the hit-and-run crash as well as drunken driving."

The imprint of the license. Wow. That's the automotive equivalent of getting the image of the murderer off the dead man's retinas. For a moment I wondered if they went to the wrong house and cuffed a guy whose plate read AHA 080, when the guilty fellow really had 080 AHA - but no, the plate wouldn't read in reverse. Or would it? Think about it. For some, the answer's simple and obvious; if you're like me, which is to say your head's still ringing from a nine-girl birthday party sleepover this weekend, you will end up drawing imaginary letters on your left hand and pressing it against your right. Okay, yes, I'm stupid.

This one has an interesting distinction:

"Stolen property. An Apple Valley man, 19, was arrested in the 15700 block of Hayes Trail for bringing stolen goods into the state."

So it's not having them in the first place that gets you busted, it's bringing them in?

Terms you didn't know before this very minute:

"Burglary. An attempted break-in was reported at JRK Seed and Turf Supply, 3660 Kennebec Drive. It was the second attempt in two weeks. A large barn-door lock was stripped on a warehouse where the company keeps some bagged inventory."

I have no idea what a "barn-door lock" is, other than it's a lock for a barn door; you'd think a warehouse-door lock would be used on a warehouse. I'd call the hardware store and ask if they carried barn-door locks, but I fear they'd ask if the horses had already gotten out. Because if that's the case, sir, there's no point.