This blog covers everything except sports and gardening, unless we find a really good link about using dead professional bowlers for mulch. The author is a StarTribune columnist, has been passing off fiction and hyperbole as insight since 1997, has run his own website since the Jurassic era of AOL, and was online when today’s college sophomores were a year away from being born. So get off his lawn.

Selfie teen gets the boot

Posted by: James Lileks under Photos Updated: April 16, 2014 - 12:03 PM

Literally. Guy stands too close to train to take a selfie. Conductor warns him with the horn, then gives him a workshoe in the brainpan.

The internet is doing what it naturally does: first, there’s the excruciatingly long 9 seconds edited down to its pith in GIF form:

And then the frame grabs for detailed study. Before everything went south, he’s preparing for a selfie - a Vine, I’m guessing.

The Boot of Doom enters the frame:

Contact, with some chin-rippling:

An almost contemplative moment:

Sudden transformation into an aging British rocker:

And brief stint as an Edward Norton impersonator:

The GIF and the grab are mine, which I mention in case anyone thinks I stole them without credit. Comment#1:

And WHY did you want to share this on social media? It's something potential employers, future in-laws, and most people that see it... after the sensationalism wears-off... will think shows poor judgement. 

If getting kicked in the head doesn't wake you up this fact, what will? 

He won’t wake up until he’s hit by a train. No - wait, that’s not right.

SCIENCE! A moon is being born in the rings of Saturn, right before our eyes.

“We have not seen anything like this before,” said Carl Murray of Queen Mary University in London, lead author of the paper. “We may be looking at the act of birth, where this object is just leaving the rings and heading off to be a moon in its own right.”

I'm just waiting for BuzzFeed to run the news with the headline "Saturn is having a moon and it is ADORABLE." 

Off to figure out a column; see you around. 

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