This blog covers everything except sports and gardening, unless we find a really good link about using dead professional bowlers for mulch. The author is a StarTribune columnist, has been passing off fiction and hyperbole as insight since 1997, has run his own website since the Jurassic era of AOL, and was online when today’s college sophomores were a year away from being born. So get off his lawn.
Flappy Bird is coming back to the iTunes store, says twitter chatter. This will hurt the legions of Flappy pretenders, which currently number in the hundreds of millions. Let us take a look at what sprang up to capitalize in the popularity of Flappy Bird, and its absence from the marketplace.
"It’s a shave-or-be-shaved sepia world out there."
Flappy Bieb? Sure:
You may wonder if other pop stars are represented in Tiny Flappy form. Of course:
But that really doesn't have the same 8-bit charm as Flappy Bird, does it? So:
If only someone could get Beib and Miley together in the Flappyverse, you say. Well:
If all this lacks the purity of the original, and you want to get back to the essence of the gameplay:
For a while, 1/3rd of all new apps were Flappy clones. Still waiting for Flappy Chicken from Hell. Speaking of which:
Meet the “Chicken from Hell,” a recently identified bird-like dinosaur that roamed the Dakotas with T. rex 66 million years ago. . . . “It was a giant raptor, but with a chicken-like head and presumably feathers,” co-author Emma Schachner of the University of Utah, said in a press release. “The animal stood about 10 feet tall, so it would be scary as well as absurd to encounter.”
So you wouldn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Although you’d figure that one out soon enough. Anyway: is this a chicken head?
Let's assume that the Chicken From Hell was even bigger, and invisible. How would we know it was in the neighborhood, walking around?
("Invisible dinosaur" joke brazenly stolen from comments on the video at Liveleak.)
Off to write a column; see you around.
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