This blog covers everything except sports and gardening, unless we find a really good link about using dead professional bowlers for mulch. The author is a StarTribune columnist, has been passing off fiction and hyperbole as insight since 1997, has run his own website since the Jurassic era of AOL, and was online when today’s college sophomores were a year away from being born. So get off his lawn.
Good afternoon. Do not go outside. It’s hot and soupy and you will get Balmer-stains on your shirt if you walk more than a block.
VIRAL: By the way, I hate that term. Anyway, the video of the day would seem to be the angry man wrecking a cellphone store in Manchester.
The person who posted it asks:
Man smashes up T-mobile Shop Manchester on Market Street. Who would do this? Maybe the man himself can comment on what happened and why he decided to do this to the shop? If you're watching let us know. This is SHOCKING!
Any minute now. The fellow is probably itching for the opportunity to explain things. Possible answers:
* Bath salts? Seems too calm and methodical for that.
* As a Buzzfeed editor said on their post, he was bothered by the high cost of service. Ha ha! Oh stop you’re killin‘ me here
* The sort of general low-level entitlement you find in the modern world, where people’s sense of self is matched in side only by their disregard of others.
I’m going with the last one. The Manchester Evening News actually talked to someone about it. Imagine that:
Police were called to the shop at 4.25pm on Saturday after reports of an 'aggressive customer'. A spokesman for T-Mobile said the incident had started when a customer requested a refund which was refused because the customer was not deemed to be entitled to it.
TNT Magazine says his name is Jason Codner, and he’s 42, which is 31 years too old for this sort of tantrum. Wait for the end, and take a look at the size of the crowd that gathered.
INTERNET WARS If you’ve been following the Oatmeal vs. Funny Junk saga, you know the lawyer for the latter made a decision to take on the internet. This rarely ends well. In this instance, a creator of a very funny comic strip took issue with his work showing up on one of those sites that specializes in Rage Comics and meme pictures and animated gifs of people falling down the stairs and hitting their heads. He wrote about his attempts to get the site purged of his work. The site sued for defamation, and asked $20,000. Matthew Inman, Oatmeal’s creator, said he’d raise $20,000, but give it for charity. There was also some stuff about drawing a picture of the complainant’s mother making love to a bear, which admittedly did not calm the waters. Inman raised over $200,000, and was promptly sued for impersonating a charity, or something.
Charlie the Censor remains outraged that Mr. Inman wants to sully the good reputation of charitable fundraising through a "publicity stunt." This is truly an excellent point. If charity fundraising is characterized by anything, it's high levels of dignity. You'd never see a publicity stunt like people standing in front of a comically outsized check. You'd never see politicians and celebrities using charitable donations for attention. You'd never see something like an eating contest to promote an anti-hunger charity. No, like anything associated with money, it's really quite pure.
The full story in Popehat’s words is here, where you can follow links to very funny cartoons with bad language. I’d link directly, but, well, our bad language policy on this blog is to let you find it yourself.
Oh, Balmer stains? Balmer stains. I did that last week, but in case you missed it:
I think I’m going to try to find a way to work that into a post every week. Difficulty: post must reference “developers” or “sweating like Orson Welles in Mexico City in 1942.”
DISNEY: If you've been to Disneyland or Disneyworld, you know how incredible the parks are, how much money and skill and ingenuity have gone into creating fantasy worlds that delight the eye. So brace yourself for an incredible Disney park that no longer exists: Holidayland!
Wow! Look at that ride! E-ticket for sure!
It's from DisneyHistoryInstitut.com, which has a story about the littlest Land of them all, long gone for half a century. The mysterious and seldom-photographed Holidayland tale is here.