Leggo my Barbie, Elaine!

By AL SICHERMAN, Star Tribune

Last update: March 19, 2008 - 12:19 PM

Two startling developments from Eggo in the frozen-waffle aisle:

The box of Eggo's Barbie waffles shows two waffles, one with a full-color drawing of Barbie in its center, the other with a portrait of Barbie and someone apparently named Teresa. There are eight waffles in a box, but more than 40 different images are available, so part of the (limited) excitement is finding out which images are on your waffles. Mr. Tidbit knows that's Teresa because the eight waffles he got included butterflies, flowers, several things he can't identify, (some accompanied by the word "Barbie") -- and two drawings of that other young woman, both labeled "Teresa." No actual Barbies at all. Rats!

The other Eggo item, Mini Muffin Tops ("best part of the muffin"), doesn't carry a license agreement from Jerry Seinfeld, but a well-known Seinfeld episode is the only reason to call the eight sets of four itty-bitty items in the box "muffin tops." (Elaine eats only the tops of muffins and persuades her boss to make muffins, sell the tops and give the bottoms to homeless people -- who don't want them.) Mr. Tidbit opines that these are more like puffy itty-bitty pancakes than like the tops of itty-bitty muffins.

The other meaning for "muffin top," he learns on the Web, is a person whose flabby midriff spills over top of his or her pants. Probably not the image Kellogg was going for.

Tastier than steroids

Mr. Tidbit just spotted, in the annual overflowing of Easter candy, what has to be one of the confection business' more peculiar efforts: Jelly Belly Sport Beans "energizing jelly beans" containing plenty of sugar and small amounts of electrolytes and vitamins C, B1, B2 and B3. "Energize with one pack [1 ounce, 99 cents] 30 minutes before activity. Use additional beans as needed during activity ... Replenish with one pack after activity."

Yow.

AL SICHERMAN