Keeping the peace when young adults move home

  • Updated: March 26, 2014 - 2:06 PM

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, an estimated 4.3 million 25- to 34-year-olds (and 18.6 million 18- to 34-year-olds) move back or still live at home. (Chris Morris/Dallas Morning News/KRT) ORG XMIT: 1029139

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Keeping the peace

Experts offer a few pointers for maintaining harmony when emerging adults move home:

Don’t neglect your marriage. If you and your spouse are still together, carve out plenty of alone time. “Since your kids’ move home will most likely be short-lived and your couple connection will, you hope, be forever, take care to protect your time as a twosome,” says Jeffrey Jensen Arnett in his book “When Will My Grown-Up Kid Grow Up?”

Discuss check-in rules. “When they’re under your roof, you may want to know whether they’re coming home for dinner,” says “Twentysomething” author Robin Marantz Henig. “They may bristle, but you could say, ‘Anybody who lives here checks in. I always know whether your father is coming home for dinner.’ Have a conversation about which conditions are infantilizing and which are simply polite.”

Establish boundaries early. “There needs to be a discussion about what is expected: in terms of financial contributions, in terms of chores, as far as sexual activity,” says “Parenting Your Emerging Adult” author Varda Konstam. “Everyone needs to know right away what’s OK and what’s not OK.”

Chicago Tribune

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