Born out of a series of Tweets by commenter @RandBallsStu, an idea by your humble proprietor and a sick thirst to rile up Packers fans for no good reason, we present, "The Increasingly Lost Season." In this series, which is now in its second year, Stu will give a brief recap of the Packers' misfortunes as they tumble back toward Randy Wright-esque putridity (even if that probably isn't true). Stu?
What happens when two bitter NFC North rivals face off, even when one is a flat-out disgrace and the other is sticking with a struggling Christian Ponder? In an increasingly lost season, the answer is “the same old same old.”
As predicted in this space last week, the Packers were once again unable to defeat Eli Manning when it mattered and saw their season continue to fall apart. Although NFL rules prohibit the questioning of any of Dear Leader Ted Thompson’s wise and capable decisions for the greater good, the ongoing embarrassment of having zero competent backups to actor/quarterback Aaron Rodgers continues to be apparent to those who dare engage in Thoughtcrime.
Now, they have another week of starting “quarterback” Scott Tolzien as Rodgers heals and lines up voiceover work, and get to play another team heading in the wrong direction, the Minnesota Vikings. Of course, unlike Green Bay, Minnesota seems to have come to terms with its bitterly disappointing 2013, and is focused on building for a better, brighter future. The Packers and some in their misguided fan base think that, just because they’re not mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, means they are in the hunt for another division title. “After all, Aaron’s coming back,” they might say.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but he’s not coming back. Hollywood is his pack of cigarettes, and Green Bay is his abandoned family, looking to scrape enough money together to put some dollar store gifts under a tree that’s actually just cases of Old Style returnables stacked in a haphazard, moldering pyramid. Oh, sure, he’ll come back. Keep telling yourself that.
Will they be able to end their losing streak against the injury-riddled Vikings? In an increasingly lost season, the smart money’s on “don’t count on it.”