An insurance salvage store that closed in 2000, a venerable department store, and an outlet selling Target’s overstock and returns will all re-open later this year after extended hiatuses. The re-birth of the stores, all missed terribly by Twin Cities shoppers, reminds us that if we wish hard enough, time can be turned back.


The news about Bank’s re-opening in its northeast Minneapolis location reduced Ima Phrugale of northeast Minneapolis to tears of joy. “My whole house was furnished with salvage from Bank’s,” she said. “Do you think they’ll take back a Proctor Silex coffee maker I got there in 1978? It still leaks.”


The Target outlet will discount all of its merchandise returns 97 percent and the return policy will be “whatever, whenever.”


If Mark Dayton’s gubernatorial bid doesn’t pan out, he plans to buy out Neiman Marcus’ lease and re-open a Dayton’s department store on Nicollet Mall. “It’s about time someone brought back a true department store,” said Dayton’s spokeswoman Margaux Seagulle. “We will bring back major appliances, electronics, ladies and men’s hats, notions and knitting, as well as Missy and Sansabelt departments.” 


Details about the store opening dates were not available at press time. Check back next April Fool’s Day for more information.