A Korean War story: Devastating loss, undying gratitude and an enduring legacy

A lady was walking toward me as some 400 Korean War veterans and their families were enjoying a luncheon under the huge pavilion at Long Lake Regional Park in New Brighton. She asked me if I'd follow her to her table. I took it as an invitation to a photo session; I often get those. It was September 2014.

She introduced to me several people and I thanked them for coming. When she pointed to an elderly woman and said "she is my Mom," I heard: "I hated Korea and the Koreans."

My heart sank. She added, "My brother was killed in Korea," and I grasped for any words of comfort. Then she said: "At this picnic, I changed my mind, because some Koreans honor him."

Relieved, and feeling like I'd been riding an emotional roller coaster, I murmured: "I'm very sorry. I'm glad you came." I hurried back to the podium.

Soon I opened the program: "Korean War veterans and family members, my name is Byong Moon Kim. I am the host of the picnic. Since 2004, the Kim family has hosted an annual appreciation day picnic and program in honor of President Harry S. Truman and Korean War service members. We dedicate this year's event to the Korean War wounded and injured. We welcome you all."

I thought of the lady, fearing that my response was inadequate for her long-held bitterness. I hadn't asked her name, and, busy with the flow of the program, I could not get back to her table before they left. I lamented having missed a chance to relate to her with content and context of the Korean War.

Afterward, I asked many people if they knew of a lady who had lost her brother in Korea. Finally, in May of this year, a woman called me. Her father served in Korea; her son needed an application for the scholarship for the descendants of Korean War service members that my family established. She mentioned that she had asked me to meet her mother. Exciting news!

I have thought about Diane's "hatred toward Korea and the Koreans." Her brother David lost his chance to pursue happiness. He had no chance to date, no chance to have a family, no chance to give away his daughter to a bridegroom, no chance to celebrate the births of grandchildren. I am sure Diane missed him at her wedding; she married a Korean War veteran.

Last October, at the Science Museum of Minnesota, my wife and I watched "A Beautiful Planet," an Imax film; it showed the Earth as seen from the space station. What excited us most was an image of the Korean Peninsula at night; below the Demilitarized Zone (DMZ) the peninsula was brightly lit: above the DMZ there was almost nothing but darkness. The country of darkness is North Korea, which invaded the South in 1950, starting the Korean War. The country of brightness is South Korea.

We thought Korean War veterans would be delighted to see the image because it affirms their legacy: defending the freedom of 27 million people then, a population that has grown now to 50 million.

On June 9, we and 24 veterans and their family members ­— including Diane, Deanna and Diane's grandson Brennan — saw the film and stopped for lunch.

I gave Diane a letter, addressed to Ms. Diane Quam. When I was writing, I felt as if I had been an avatar, traversing time and space, back and forth.

Deanna read the letter for her mom through tears. I showed Diane several photos: my granddaughter Evelyn, with food all over her mouth; her mom and her aunt held her, smiling, and her grandma looked at her with love. Three generations were together.

I told Diane: "David and other Korean War service members enabled me and my wife to grow up in freedom; to have two wonderful daughters; and to become grandparents in peacetime. The picnic is the embodiment of our undying gratitude."

Siblings of the Korean War dead, you are invited, along with all Korean War veterans, to the Kim family's 14th annual appreciation picnic and program on Sept. 9, 11 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Send your name (and up to two family members' names), address, phone number (and your sibling's name and unit) to Byong Moon Kim at 1549 Lois Drive, Shoreview, MN 55126 by Sept. 2. I'll confirm your registration.

At the picnic. Diane's grandson Brennan and six other students will receive scholarships.