In coming days, the Senate is expected to consider a federal ban on abortions at 20 weeks. Before lawmakers cast their votes, I would like them to hear my story.
If such a ban had been in place a year ago, I would have been condemned to carry and give birth to a baby who had no chance at life.
I have been happily married for more than a decade, and I have two beautiful children. When my husband and I found out last year that I was pregnant again, we were overjoyed.
At 20 weeks, my husband and I went for our favorite prenatal visit: the detailed ultrasound anatomy scan that shows your baby's heart, kidneys, bladder, stomach, spine and brain, and whether you're having a girl or a boy. I could barely contain myself as I sat on the exam table, eager to meet our baby more intimately. My husband and I chit-chatted with the ultrasound technician, gabbing and laughing when we recognized familiar features on the ultrasound images.
But after five minutes, only my husband and I were talking. The technician had grown quiet. She just kept printing picture after picture and pressing the wand deeper into the gel on my stomach.
My husband and I reached for each other's hands. We asked the technician if everything was all right, and she said we should wait for a doctor to talk to us. When the OB-GYN entered, I remember asking point-blank: "Is there a chance our child will be OK?" He responded kindly, softly and unequivocally: "No."
Over the next week came referrals to high-risk pregnancy specialists and more, longer, in-depth ultrasounds. In our baby's brain cavity, where gray matter should have been visible, there was only black. The diagnosis was the same from every doctor: Something — we would learn it was not genetic or chromosomal — had caused two leaks in our baby's brain, one on each side, destroying it almost entirely.
We would have done anything to save the baby. We asked if there was any possibility for repair, if the brain tissue could regrow. There wasn't. My baby would either die in the womb or shortly after birth.