Inflate Tom Brady's football to 12.5 PSIs, turn up Peyton Manning's cold-weather heat and get ready for Aaron Rodgers' must-see mulligan.
The NFL divisional playoff round is upon us. And the possibilities abound with three rematches and all four wild-card teams still alive.
The Chiefs and Patriots lead off Saturday followed by Packers vs. Cardinals in prime time and a Sunday slate of Seahawks vs. Panthers and Steelers vs. Broncos. Or at least what's left of Mike Tomlin's Steelers after Vontaze Burfict got done injuring Ben Roethlisberger (right shoulder sprain) and Antonio Brown (concussion) last week.
Meanwhile, the Vikings have scattered since Blair Walsh missed a 27-yard field goal attempt in the closing seconds of Sunday's 10-9 wild-card loss to Seattle. For them, even the thought of watching football this weekend sounds painful.
"I'll root for my old teammates in Carolina, but it will be tough sitting there," said cornerback Captain Munnerlyn. "And if Seattle makes it to a third straight Super Bowl? I won't lie to you. That will be really tough to watch."
For those particularly cold of heart and bitten by the gambling bug, the cruelest odds of the week come via SportsBettingDime.com, which boasted via e-mail this week that it has odds on which kicker will be the next to miss a winning field-goal attempt in the final minute. If you're interested, Carolina's Graham Gano is the favorite (10-3) while Seattle's Steven Hauschka (11-1) is the long shot.
Manning, of course, is familiar with January heartbreak. He is 11-13 in the postseason, including 0-5 in games played below 40 degrees. Sunday's forecast for Denver: 35 degrees and mostly nervous.
Five of the eight quarterbacks this weekend have a combined nine Super Bowl rings, led by Brady's four. If he wins a fifth on next month, he will have done it while defeating Commissioner Roger Goodell's dogged attempts to suspend him for his role in the DeflateGate controversy from last year's AFC title game.
Roethlisberger has two Super Bowl wins, while Manning, Rodgers and Seattle's Russell Wilson have one apiece. The three quarterbacks without rings are Carolina's probable league MVP Cam Newton, Kansas City's Alex Smith and Arizona's Carson Palmer.
As Cardinals quarterback, Palmer is 29-9 in the regular season. The 29th win was a 38-8 Week 16 rout of Rodgers, who was sacked eight times and had two fumbles returned for touchdowns.
After that game, Rodgers shook off the magnitude of the loss when he told reporters, "I am confident that we have the guys and myself that, when it matters for all the marbles, guys will show up." In other words, R-E-L-A-X.
The Packers sure showed up in Washington last week. But the oddsmakers aren't on board this week, making the Packers the biggest underdog on the board (plus-7).
Carolina has the best record (15-1), but the weakest receiving corps. Of course, that didn't stop Newton from torching Seattle in a Week 6 comeback victory. Down by nine points to the vaunted Legion of Boom secondary, Newton threw for 162 yards and a touchdown in the fourth quarter.
The other rematch game this weekend is Pittsburgh-Denver. The Steelers won 34-27 in Week 15, but Manning didn't play and Roethlisberger was healthy when he threw for 380 yards and three touchdowns, two of which went to a pre-concussed Brown.
Meanwhile, the last time the Chiefs and Patriots met was Week 4 of last season. The Chiefs won the prime-time meeting 41-14. Brady was so awful that the New England media began to publicly ponder whether it was time to unload the old guy.
Coach Bill Belichick shrugged and created the newest sports cliché when he famously said, "We're on to Cincinnati." And the Patriots, of course, went on to win the Super Bowl.
Brady and Belichick need more help from the offensive line if they're to rebound from a 2-4 finish. But the Patriots aren't the only ones struggling up front right now. In fact, at least five divisional playoff teams could list offensive line as their biggest weakness.
The Chiefs are the hottest team. A 12th straight Chiefs win and a Green Bay upset would move Super Bowl 50 one step closer to being a rematch of Super Bowl I. Of course, that's only one of the many possibilities that could unfold this weekend.
Mark Craig • mcraig@startribune.com
